Thomas Crapper was the man who invented the ballcock toilet. It was a pretty unfortunate name since the word ‘crap’ had been a ‘polite’ word for ‘taking a shit’ long before he was a teenager.

Tommy was born around 1836 in Yorkshire, England, but the word ‘crap’ has been around since the days of Middle English. ‘Crap’ came from the Latin word ‘crappa’ which essentially means ‘rubbish’ - and is still used today as in ‘I need to get rid of all this crap out of my garage’ (Rubbish, junk, garbage) but it’s first use as being attributed to bodily waste (according to the Oxford English Dictionary) was in 1846.

Of course, this hardly seems right in the days of ‘political correctness’, but it is what it is, I guess......
No matter what the ‘PC Brigade’ tell us, we cannot hide from etymology - no matter how much they would like us to.....

My friend came to visit me the other night, along with her delightful 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old horrible brat of a son

Horrible brats can be forgiven for being horrible brats when their mother is carrying 3 bottles of wine, and mother can also be forgiven for not being able to consume them all by herself.........so me being the nice, thoughtful, accommodating kind of guy that I am, and one who hates to see a ‘damsel-in-distress’, offered to assist this poor lady in her quest to drink the three said bottles of wine.......
By the time we were halfway through the third bottle we were obviously having some kind of conversation that only a fully-fledged alcoholic could understand, when my friend’s daughter asked what seemed to be a somewhat pertinent question......

Despite my somewhat dilapidated state-of-mind, I remember looking at my friend and saying .....’Oh...shit!’
At that same moment, my friend looked at me with her glazed eyes and said exactly the same words......
It was a ‘eureka moment’ - the proverbial ‘penny’ had dropped.......

You see, my friend is only a few years younger than me and she hates the ‘PC Brigade’ more than I do, (if that’s possible lol) - but suddenly we realised.................... our AGE !

Her daughter had said ‘Hey guys, what was life like BEFORE political correctness?’

I may loathe the PC Brigade, but it seems that I was missing the fact that people under the age of around 35 have known NOTHING OTHER THAN PC !

They are too young to remember such classic TV shows as ‘Love Thy Neighbour’ (where a black guy and white guy live next door to each other and constantly abuse each other with racist remarks)
‘Mind Your Language’ (a comedy TV show based around someone teaching ESL to foreign students - who constantly abuse each other with racist remarks) - and then there’s Alf Garnet who starred in a hilarious classic British TV series called ‘Til Death Do Us Part’
Alf is horrendously racist - yet funny too
All these shows were back in the 1970’s before PC was the 'social cancer' that it is today - but some are still funny, others are not.

Back to Tommy Crapper
There is a reason WHY the Chinese have a hole-in-the-floor instead of Tommy’s invention - and it’s all down to those wonderful Canadians who live in the PC capital of the world.
Tommy was simply known as ‘Crap’ by his school mates and the name ‘Thomas’ was actually wrong because Mr Crapper (Crap) was in fact, born of Indian stock.....

One day, ‘Crap’ went to show off his new invention at an exhibition for new inventions. His wife (Ineeda) was not well that day so she could not look after the family dog (Syndrome), so poor old ‘Crap’ had to take the dog along with him.

His invention was a huge success....people from all over the western world bought his new toilet - which is why we still use it today

He was just about to wrap things up for the day when he was greeted by a Chinese person who had come to look at the new invention.
Crap was excited because he knew that even back then, China was a potentially HUGE market. If it was a hit in China, then the rest of Asia would probably follow.
The exhibition had gone quiet - most people had gone home to their squalor so Crap and the Chinese customer had all the time in the world to discuss his new invention.

Crap went into his sales-pitch with the Chinese fella but promptly stopped upon hearing the words ‘ting bu dong’
‘Oh Crap!’, said Crap - ‘now what can I do? This guy understands nothing, how can I sell it to him?’
Suddenly a Canadian guy appeared. “Sorry, I was having a look around and became engrossed whilst looking at the stall selling ‘equality for everyone’ and the soon-to-be-world-famous sport of ‘Lacrosse’ - that we Canadians have ingeniously invented - but I was shocked and stunned to see a Chinese man crying on a stall named ‘The Rapist’
“Ah....No Ploblem’. Said Crap, inventingly ‘He’s been crying all day’

‘Why on earth would a person advertise themselves as a rapist?’ asked the Canadian ‘All rapists should be put into a rehabilitation centre until they understand the error of their ways, in my opinion’
‘Well in my opinion, all rapists should be hung upside down by their testicles until they die of dehydration - but that’s not the problem here. You see, he gave his business card to some Chinese sign-writers who created the sign ‘The Rapist’ - but in fact he is a THERAPIST in Chinese Traditional Medicine and she’s not had a single customer all day’
‘Oh, that is so terrible’, said the Canadian, ‘Surely he must have some re-course through the proper channels on the proviso that he creates a valid case to present to the people who are able to rectify this matter in a fair and just manner?’

‘Dunno’ said Crap ‘Are you with this Chinese gentleman?’
‘Yes. I am his interpreter - he doesn’t speak English - his name is Da Ling’
‘Great’ said Crap - ‘and may I have your name?’
‘My name is Brigadier Peter Carter - but my friends call me PC Brig - you can call me PC for short ....and you?’
“Call me Crap’ said Crap
“Oh no..... I couldn’t possibly call you that....it’s not politically correct - do you have a first name?
‘Yes’ said Crap... ‘But I rarely use it because my parents were from India and it’s difficult to say’
“What is it?” inquired PC
‘Mustafa” said Crap
PC went white at hearing the name, but trying to remain polite, he said nothing....
Just then, Crap’s dog jumped up onto the newly invented toilet...
‘Down, Syndrome!’ shouted Crap
PC went whiter still.....’I don’t believe I’m hearing this’ he snooted
‘Are you married?’ asked PC
‘Of course’ said Crap ‘and I have a son’
‘Do they have such ridiculous names as you do, or do they have normal names?’ inquired PC, trying not to explode with anger
‘ I told you’ said Crap, ‘My parents were born in India and my wife is also Indian - so they both have normal Indian names’
‘My I inquire as to what they are?’ asked PC
‘Sure’ said Crap - ‘My wife is called Ineeda and our son is named Juss Tadda’

‘Aaaaaaagh’ screamed PC, with his hands covering his ears. ‘I cannot bear to hear this’
In a flash, PC turned to the Chinese guy and said ‘Come along Da Ling, we’re leaving’ !!!

And that’s why the Chinese never got to use Tommy Crapper's invention !

True story.......honest ! (lol)