Confidence is a word that we hear a lot of these days. Success in work and in our personal lives is said to stem from it. Indeed there are very few situations in life where a lack of confidence is considered to be an advantage. It is through confidence that we manage to assert ourselves in the world. You might find it strange then to know that such a crucial part of our personalities has had very little in research made into it. If you stop and think about it a second - if we are to develop an understanding about what makes us tick then knowing about the things that affect our confidence is pretty important.

The world you live in is obviously going to be a major contributor to your level of confidence. Of course in our modern fast paced world there are many factors involved in our confidence levels. Anyone who tells you that they are ‘their own person’ is not being strictly true. The truth is that we react to the world around us according to the belief we have in ourselves. This self belief comes through the gaining of knowledge.

Think of your first day in a new job for instance, to begin with you were likely to be hesitant , unsure , looking for confirmation from others that you are doing the right thing. Fast forward 6 months later and think of the difference in outlook and attitude. You have grown into the role, you are more assertive because you have gained the necessary knowledge to complete your tasks according to a set standard. In short, you have become more confident because you believe in your ability to get the job done. Now you might think confidence gained in one area of your life can not be applied to all areas. This is a common misconception because it fails to grasp the principle of gaining confidence.
Lets think about where confidence comes from. Like most of our personality – confidence seems to stem from our biological make up and our experiences in childhood. In the same way some kids seem to be born to be top golfers or footballers . Others are naturally pre disposed to being confident out going people. Yet there are also many many things that impact on us as kids when we grow up.

Parents can be a major contributor towards us acquiring confidence. Good parenting should be about teaching their child how to explore their own individual potential. Unfortunately , some parents do quite the opposite - perhaps with the same good intentions but often with disastrous consequences for the child’s future development . For instance, rather than examining their childs potential they instead seize upon their limitations. By directly focusing on these negative aspects to the extent that they over shadow everything else the child can grow up with little self belief and confidence.
Another key contributor to our personalities and levels of confidence is our experiences in school. So many people who have an unhappy childhood do so due to their experiences in the play ground and the classroom. Being accepted by our peers can make or break our confidence levels.

Then of course there is the role of the mass media and advertising. However, in this case we are dealing with something a little different to what we have discussed before. Let’s face it we as a society are addicted to buying stuff it is in our nature. Yet why do we buy? More often than not it is to make up for shortcomings we feel we have in our selves. mFor decades ,marketing folk have been aware of the power of placing a brand with the idea that it will instil confidence. The fact is that this is not selling confidence but exploiting a lack of it. A distinction we should all remember the next tim we are out shopping!

These are just some of the ways confidence and our ideas of confidence are formed. If you are not a very confident person then perhaps you have seem some things in common between your own upbringing and some of the examples we have looked at. Examining the how and the why you are not confident will put you on the first step you need to take in order begin tackling it rather than just accepting it as ‘part of who you are’ . After all you cannot see where you are going in a dark room unless you put the light on first!.
Andrew James offers a no cost video showing you step-by-step how to overcome negative thinking patterns. please visit www.stopthenegativewaves.com