My objective for writing this article is to persuade you with power to be happier than you were when you walked in here.

But I will need your help, to help you, to be happier because the key to your happiness lies with you and only with you. To be happy, you have to decide to be happy right now. That is right. Why wait any longer?

GOOD EMOTIONS, BAD EMOTIONS IN YOUR HEART

Good Emotions: You got to have more good than bad emotions in your heart to be happy. So give me some good emotions: LOVE for god, for yourself, for your near and dear ones. GRATITUDE for all who love you and have helped you in your life.

Bad Emotions: Anger, Hatred, Envy. When someone in family, friends, work or Toastmasters! Say or do something bad to you? Feeling angry or sad in those situations is normal. Perhaps, annoys you too many times, you may even develop a small grudge for the person. A GRUDGE is a permanent hatred for someone that stays in your heart. But for the sake of your health - and world peace - you need to fast-track that grudge out of your heart and your system.

A lady was thankful to her mother for this wisdom. Anything bad happened to her. Mother would say ‘Can you fix it? If you can’t, let go and move on as it is negative energy”.

So how you can you let go of grudges and make more space for more happiness in your heart?

1. TALK TO THEM - IT’S GOOD TO TALK

Best technique for communication is face-to-face.

Some people will talk and resolve the problem. A friend calls me whenever he has an issue with me. I can tell from his voice that there is a problem. We talk about it. I explain or apologize if I have done something wrong. Problem fixed and it not mentioned again. We move on. And we are best of friends.

2. IF YOU CAN’T TALK - PRAY FOR THEM

But sometimes it is not possible because the other side was someone from your past who is not there anymore or is someone who is around but not willing to talk. They would talk to everyone else but you about the problem they have with you. They assume you did something bad on purpose. So they become the judge and jury and sentence you, in your absence, to life imprisonment. In that case you got to say a prayer for them and move on. But still be nice to them. You will feel liberated as you are no longer dependent on them for your happiness.

3. VICTIM? NEVER

Never feel you are a victim. Feeling like a victim leads to self-pity and is bad for happiness. Accept yourself, accept the world around you and love yourself. Positive thoughts bring positive results. So if you are in a pit, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.

4. LOVED YOURSELF AND FEEL LOVED

Love yourself. As you cannot love others till you love yourself. Write down on a piece of paper everything that made you feel loved as a child and on a separate paper everything that made you feel loved now. There will always be someone who loves you. Feeling unloved is very untrue. Learning to feel loved requires an open heart and a little effort on your behalf to reach out to others and let them be a part of your life.

5. BE NICE TO ALL – TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED

A lady whose mother in law was not nice to her, went to someone who gave her some pills to put in her mother in law’s food while being extremely nice to the old lady so no one would suspect her when the old lady would eventually kick the bucket. But as it happened, the old lady started to respond to the daughter in laws good treatment and started to respond back with the same. “What Have I done?” the young lady went back to the man. He said: “don’t worry, the pills are harmless. Enjoy your transformed mother in law”. Therefore I am always nice to people who are bad to me, since if they don’t change, why should I. And often they change. People are nice, they just do bad things sometimes. Give hugs often to your near and dear ones and treat others with tender words.

6. FORGIVE EVERYONE

When you don’t forgive, you end up holding a grudge for the person. It leads you to feel bad and you end up continuing to feel bad or worse still: plan your revenge. Revenge is never the answer. Eye for an eye would leave everyone in the world blind.

Do you know the definition of Forgiveness? It is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. And you don’t have to tell the other person about it. You just forgive in your heart, get rid of the grudges and move on. Now the other person has no power over you.

FINALLY, REMOVE CLUTTER AND MAKE SPACE FOR LOVE AND GRATITUDE

By getting rid of the clutter of the grudges, how much free space you can create to fill it with more love, gratitude, care and happiness in your heart.

So let go, move on, and live your life. Make friends not enemies. Win hearts and stay happy and positive – no matter what! Empower yourself to be happy – demand happiness from life.

Now tell yourself: I hold no grudges, I am free, I am happy. I feel loved. My heart is full of love and gratitude.

Its is the perfect time of the year to bury the hatchet, make that phone call to someone you have been holding a grudge for a long time. If you can’t just forgive them in your heart. If they were really bad to you, write a very nasty letter to them but don’t post it. Throw it away. Do anything to let go of your grudges.

I wish you Happiness, Success and Fulfillment in your life.