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Texas ISD School Guide
Texas ISD School Guide







Short Stories for Teachers

How to Stop Being Shy - 7 Steps to Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety
By:Kelvin Kuang

Have you ever wondered how to stop being shy? Shyness and social anxiety go together, because someone who is shy may be uncomfortable being around people -- even though they very much want to be.

Here are 7 ways on how to stop being shy, so that you can cure shyness and social anxiety, together. This can help you enjoy your life much more, develop some friendships, and simply have fun.

1) Figure out why you're shy

It can help you if you figure out why you're shy in the first place. It's not absolutely necessary, of course, but if you can figure out why you're shy (such as if you remember a bad social situation from earlier in your childhood that made you uncomfortable going "back out there"), you may be able to figure out a way to stop being shy as a result.

2) Revisit the past - briefly

For example, let's say that there was a neighborhood bully when you were growing up who always taunted you. Now, maybe you were talking to someone you really liked and that you wanted to be friends with, only to have the bully show up and taunt you as usual while you were in front of this person you wanted to be friends with. Instead of fighting back and being "cool," maybe you simply stammered, turned red, and walked away -- and your new acquaintance didn't follow you. Now, whenever you think about striking up a new friendship, that situation comes back to haunt you.

3) Realize the past doesn't matter

Once you realize why you're shy, you can realize that the past doesn't really matter. You may have old reactions in place from those old situations, but you can change those. Remember that what happened years ago doesn't have to affect you when it comes to how to stop being shy.

4) Accept yourself first

People who are comfortable in social situations and who don't suffer from shyness and social anxiety are comfortable with themselves, first and foremost. Therefore, one of the things you'll need to work on is getting comfortable with YOU. Accept yourself first, and you have a lot easier time when it comes to how to stop being shy in social situations, too.

5) Just do it

Confidence begets confidence, and avoiding social situations to avoid anxiety isn't going to make you any more social. Sometimes, you just "have to do it." That means, get out there and say hi to someone that you see at the next party you go to, say hi on the street, say hello to coworkers at work. Chances are, you have pretty much been avoiding people in most social situations you encounter, so stop doing that and just get out and begin being friendly to people.

6) Practice

Remember that when you first begin to put yourself in social situations, you're probably going to be awkward. Don't let that embarrass you and stop you from continuing. Everyone's awkward at first when they don't know what they're doing. But as you practice, you're going to become more adept at social situations, and you get better at what you do.

7) Go for "real"

There are a lot of people out there who are interested in being "social," but who don't really want to develop lasting friendships. If you're going to work hard at how to stop being shy, what you'll really want to do is to develop lasting friendships with people who care about you. So bypass those shallow people who would let your social anxiety stop them from getting to know you -- and go for those people who really want to get to know you and who don't care about your shyness and social anxiety. These people will want to make you feel comfortable, and as you become more comfortable, you'll find that your shyness simply melts away around those people you care about most.

Next, learn more of how to stop being shy from this amazing book for free.

The problem described above is only the surface layer for the topic. To find out more the solutions, please visit http://www.selfesteemworkbook.com which will give you much more detail on this subject.






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