So much of what our children do is based on how they perceive themselves. A growth mindset is one that is open to new ideas and activities. When your child is in this mode she will try just about anything - a different food, a difficult math problem, a new sport such as golf. In the growth mindset there is room for - growth. A child is not afraid to try because not getting it right does not reflect failure but rather a lack of experience and practice. Individuals in a growth mindset are wonderful to work with because they know that there is a solution and a personal, non-tangible reward in overcoming any challenge.

When individuals with "can't fail" attitudes succeed at meeting a goal it is never enough. They immediately launch out to expand knowledge and experiment with something new. They recognize that challenges are simply growth opportunities and that all worthwhile goals are reached through hard work and effort.

The fixed mindset operates in an opposite way. This child is afraid to try anything new for fear of failure. Try to ski? Never. Take a difficult course? Not now. Sign up to learn Chinese? Not a chance. Sheis mired in the idea that nothing will ever work out. Now she may try something new once in awhile, but if there is not instantaneous success, the project will be quickly abandoned.

The fixed mindset person is one who believes that success appears as a result of good luck and that failure comes about because of outside forces. He is quick to quit and blame others for a lack of success.

It is easy to see that to really succeed a person must see challenges as ways to improve. Knowing that if an individual works hard enough and with enough determination she will surmount any barrier assures continuing improvement. I am now in the process of writing a book. Some days I get discouraged - I cannot get the words right or I am too exhausted to think let alone to put words on paper. That is when I extract myself from this negativity and pivot back into the growth mindset - I can accomplish anything if I exert effort, get advice, study, and refuse to give up.

There are several activities that will help your children develop a positive growth mindset. You can start little ones with puzzles in playing card form. I observed a teacher working with a group of three and four year olds with three-part puzzles. With children who were ready for challenge, she set out nine or twelve puzzle pieces. Each child shuffled cards around until one puzzle was successfully completed. Each then moved on to other puzzle pieces to construct the remaining puzzles. With less positive minded students the teacher set out only six puzzle pieces (two complete puzzles) to avoid possible frustration with too many choices. After one puzzle was complete she added three more pieces, just enough to gently encourage the child into working harder to develop the, "Hey, I can do this" attitude. With older children you could use jigsaw puzzles, number such as Sudoku, or word puzzles.

Another activity would be math problems. Begin with a mid-level difficulty problem. Let your child work it through with minimal interference from you. When that is complete offer a second problem, "Would you like an easier problem or a tougher one?" always sharing positive support for your child's effort (not natural ability or intelligence). If she chooses a hard problem, you are on your way to establishing a positive attitude towards challenge. If she chooses an easier problem, complete it and then repeat your question. If after two or three attempts there is no move to more difficult problems, take a break and try again later.

Cooking is an activity that is fun for most children. Select two or three recipes and discuss each of them and their level of difficulty. Again you are hoping the child selects a difficult cooking feat (you may need to work on your patience!). Oversee the cooking while letting your child work fairly independently. Celebrate the product with praise for effort and determination. Any activity that challenges your child such as trying a new ski run, attempting a new bicycle trick, or assembling a complicated model encourages him to try harder tasks. What you want to do is to always encourage your child to all meet situations with a can-do attitude.

Finally, lead by example. Exemplify the parent who always meets life head on through planning, setting clear goals, exerting effort, modifying along the way, and never accepting defeat or assigning blame to others when problems arise. You are your child's most influential teacher. For more ideas grab the book - Mindset - the New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, PH.D. It is mind-changing!

Educational consultant; free lance writer http://www.energizedlearning.com