Children learn by example and there is no stronger or more influential example than parents. What you say and do is copied by your children in so many ways. If you do not notice it right off, step back a little as your child plays a game, works on school lessons, eats dinner, or behaves in public. Each of these in some way reflects you. Most often this is good, but sometimes it can be scary! As your children grow older, they become even more similar in how they act, think, and view each life situation. It is uncanny but true.

With the new year upon us, an important example you can model for your child is making a resolution and sticking to it. Seeing a resolution through from inception to completion entails setting a goal, determining how to reach that goal, and then adhering steadfastly to your guidelines until the goal is attained. Common goals include eating more healthily and usually with less total intake, improving skills in a sport or hobby like basketball or knitting, going to bed earlier and waking up refreshed, limiting video or TV viewing, or getting better grades in school. Of course there may be other resolutions brewing for you (the parent) like quitting smoking, exercising more, or loosing weight. Parent resolutions and child resolutions do not need to be the same they just have to be important enough that reaching them will have a long-lasting, positive impact. Working on the resolution together acts as support for both of you.

First, find two note cards where you and your child can write your resolution. Determine precisely what you hope to do and jot it on the card. Have your child do the same. Clarify the resolution and explain why it is so valuable to you and to the family. Next, describe how sticking with the resolution will bring great rewards. List the steps you will take to achieve your goals. Now grab a calendar and set out a timeline for your plan of action. For example, dieting means cutting out something so write down exactly what you are willing to give up (pop and junk food!) and then replace it with something that is good for you like a walk around the block. Better grades require study and practice time. Jot in times each day for getting the extra minutes in.

Fill in your calendar to indicate your daily and weekly goals and then place the calendar in a highly visible spot and refer to it each day. Chart your progress on the calendar, for example, + great day/- not so good. Review the resolution on your note card often. Frequently discuss with your child how you are meeting the goals of your resolution and let him/her do the same. Allow neither one of you to abandon the resolutions. Quitting is a learned behavior as is seeing commitments through.

In working on resolutions together, you are exhibiting an example of goal setting and attainment including the determination and support it takes to reach them. As you stick with your resolution, your child will learn about never giving up. Remember, your goal does not have to be earth-shattering. It just needs to be something that is important and that will be beneficial to you. The same is true for your child. Setting goals and achieving them brings a great sense of power, power that then feeds into other worthy goals.

Celebrate each stage of your success. When you make it through the first day with the resolution in tact, mark it on the calendar and cheer. At the end of the first week, give a high five when you both have maintained your goal. By the end of the month you may want to go all out. Who could give in or give up now? If you slip a little, gain a foothold and resume your climb. It is all right to make mistakes as long as you acknowledge them and resolve to get back on track immediately. You really can do anything you set your mind to with the enough effort and a good attitude. Combined effort on resolutions will teach your child much because you are your child's most significant teacher.

Educational consultant; free lance writer; mentor for children, parents, and teacher leaders http://www.energizedlearning.com