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Texas ISD School Guide
Texas ISD School Guide







Short Stories for Teachers

Learning Through Listening
By:Gini Cunningham

There is no greater way to learn about the world, the people around you, and yourself than by simply listening. We each have the tools - our frequently unused ears - plus additional aids that have perhaps been utilized even less - our eyes - but we do not always put these to their full, beneficial, and maximum advantage. When we listen to others we empower them. Now I am not referring to those people who blab, blab, blab all the time about nothing except their self-centered needs (usually laced with piteous complaints) but those whose hearts and eyes are begging for someone, anyone to just listen.

As you are listening remember that that is your number one and ONLY task. All right, you do get to speak occasionally but that is when you ask questions that prompt your talking companion to say more, dig deeper, and expand perspective. In doing this you are promoting self-reflection, forcing them to burrow further into their thoughts. Of course you could just blurt out answers, "Do this!" "Do that!" or worst of all, "Well, in that situation I would have..." No one can truly consider all of the possibilities when someone else is blurting out answers.

And so your friend talks along, sharing fears and worries, struggles and trials. The more s/he talks, the further you will travel along a road of understanding. You can always tell when your questions and nuggets of information have struck others by their body posture. It may relax, it may become tense. The person may wiggle or become perfectly still. The signals vary by individual and by incident. But here is the kicker for you, how you will know that the person is all ears and reveling in this opportunity to share, really listening and ready for your next bit of gentle guidance.

As the person finishes a sentence, perhaps with a sigh or maybe with a question for you, s/he will relax just a tad and bend slightly towards you. This may be an almost imperceptible movement but it will be there. This means "Give me a small dose more to think on, to roll around as I seek a solution." Now you get to speak just a little.

If after your friend speaks s/he falls away in exhaustion, here is another opportunity for you to help. First of all, remain silent. This does not mean to relax and doze off but rather to exude an anticipatory silence that exemplifies that you are just waiting for more. This solace presents reflection time as each of you regains focus and gathers for the next part of your conversation. Extended quiet may mean it is time (finally!) for you to offer a bit of nudging even including a short, personal anecdote on something that helped you in a similar situation. This is not blaring advice or a "know-it-allitude", but rather just a piece of mild insight, a kind idea of support. Remember you are in charge of listening, not in charge of a diatribe.

The reward of all of this listening? You will sense power and well-being because you have been helpful, you have made a difference for someone else and that is so rewarding. Listening is a gift that develops over time and can set the world straight for another.

One warning about being a good listener: You will come to expect this in others and some of these others will not have your earful talent. All I can suggest is patience and having a phone call or appointment to rescue you in times of "over-blabberification". You could also print this piece and drop it on the offender's desk or post it on a bulletin board that everyone checks. Sadly, experience has demonstrated that talkers talk without realizing that they rarely pause for breath or to allow you to insert a word. The good thing about this excessive vocalization is that their talking can allow you personal think time for your own issues. Since you will most likely never be called on for wisdom or advice from yappy people, you are free to save your listening mode for someone who needs you, your ears, and your heart.

Educational consultant; free lance writer http://www.energizedlearning.com






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