We have all had the experience of being at a movie, at the doctor's office, at a concert, at a restaurant, or even in church, and having small children running around laughing or screaming. We look side to side trying to find the parents while hoping a dirty look will give the parents the message to corral their children. The parents, though, seem oblivious. We shake our heads, look at other annoyed people, and wonder why these parents didn't teach their children how to behave away from home.

I know that most parents do a very good job of teaching their children appropriate behaviors for different settings. But there really are a few times that mothers and/or fathers really do seem to be oblivious to the fact they even brought children with them. How can that be?

In some cases, I think parents get caught up in the moment--thrilled to be out of the house and talking with an ADULT! They really do momentarily (or longer) forget about the kids. The parents have completely tuned them out. (I remember many days of wishing for any adult conversation when my children were small.)

In a few cases, I believe that parents have lost control of their children at home, so they don't even try to control them when they are out. We have all witnessed parents who are totally controlled by their two-year-old child. I always ache for these parents because I know what is ahead for them. Somehow, they have convinced themselves that "when their child is older, the child will know how to behave." But, having raised two teenagers and having taught high school for many years, I know that will never happen. If you have to bribe your little child to get cooperation, what will you have to do to get your teenager to do anything? If your pre-schooler controls you now, that child, as a teen, will still control you .

In other cases, I believe that the parents actually don't realize that they need to teach their children behaviors appropriate for different situations. We parents often expect more of our children than they are capable of doing. I was guilty of that with my son. He was very bright and I tended to think of him as a little adult--part of that birth order 1st child syndrome.

There are also cases where families don't do much of going places, so the kids don't get the opportunities to learn those skills. I have had several experiences involving the death of high school students; and I am always astounded at how many students have no "dress-up" clothes and have no idea how to behave at the viewing or the funeral. If families do not attend church or the church is one of the non-traditional churches, then the children probably do not have "dress up clothes." If no one close to them has passed away, then they are unfamiliar with the expected behaviors.

I know that for many students, starting school, moving to a new school, or simply changing from middle school to high school, is a frightening experience. Often, no one has told them what to expect or how they should act. We so often assume they know. But they don't.

If you are a parent of a young child, remember that EVERYTHING is a new experience for the child and children really do need to be taught what to expect and how to behave. Explain things to them in the security of the home environment rather than waiting until an event. It is also a good idea to practice "event behavior" at home or take a field trip. Pay constant attention to your child when you are out, and correct behavior as necessary. A simple whisper in the ear of "that's not how we act in a restaurant" may be sufficient. Kids even need to be taught what YOU expect of them as they enter high school, get a cell phone, start driving, go one dates, get iPods, etc. What other parents expect of their children may not be what you expect. If you start teaching behavior expectations when your children are young, their teen years will be much more pleasant.

Shirley Slick, "The Slick Tips Lady," is a retired high school math teacher and tutor with degrees in Mathematics and Psychology and additional training in brain-based learning/teaching. Her goals: (1) to help parents help their children with math, (2) to help eliminate the horrendous Algebra failure rate, and (3) to inform the general public about problematic issues related to the field of education. For your free copy of "10 Slick Tips for Improving Your Child's Study Habits," visit her website at http://myslicktips.com/.