Over the years, each and every time I have felt remorse over a teaching gig, I have found it necessary to encourage a self-induced state of psychological asylum from the rest of humanity. This usually lasts until which time I have convinced myself to call it quits and trade in my state of depression for a more familiar role as brave trooper facing the usual disillusionment on the work front. Following so many disappointments—both monstrous and minute—one would assume that I’ve finally learned how to avoid the woes of the teaching game. Alas, no such luck! Although each and every disappointment induces me to avow to never again play a part in such shenanigans … there I go again, off to the races, assuming my customary stance in front of another class in an ESL school managed by another dishonest money-grubber who lacks any degree of concern for either his/her students or underpaid staff. What, in fact, keeps drawing me back to ESL as I am to that delicious Smucker’s jam? Surely, it can’t be the wonderful wages or the tremendous innovative freedom within the curriculum to which I find myself privileged. Oh, yes, I’ve also tried my hand in the private lesson realm. About a year ago, I decided to abandon work in the ESL schools in favor of what I thought would offer me just the right amount of entrepreneurship and increased income I sought. It didn’t take me very long to discover that unless I had a fairly large student quorum, all those canceled lessons invoked by dentists’ appointments and bellyaches would seriously detract from any steady earning capacity. Granted I was free to teach as I saw fit and to establish my own rates for learning, but I soon saw that only a few students didn’t amount to a hellova lot so far as regularly purchasing bagels, cream cheese, and coffee to complement the aforementioned Smucker's jam! So, it’s back to the ESL schools I go, where at least I can count on a steady bi-monthly check—however inadequate—for my efforts. But, all this hardly answers WHY I have consistently chosen to stick with ESL.

All of my life, I have been regarded as an independent thinker (independent stinker, according to Wife #1)—a Leo who has always experienced difficulty merely following orders without playing a key role in the analysis and judgment of the plan at hand. The one profession which did, to a large extent, afford me that distinction and the greatest longevity was that of solo-timpanist with a host of major symphony orchestras, opera companies and ballet ensembles throughout Europe and the USA. In this instance, I had a lot of freedom to interpret long-established music phraseology to warm the cockles of the audiences for which I performed. B-U-T, there was always the conductor with whom to reckon. Fortunately, I was able to get most of them to see things my way, albeit a few were actually on the brink of tossing my over-sized gluteus maximus from the premises ... lock, stock and kettledrum! I recall one occasion when rehearsing the Tchaikovsky b flat minor Piano Concerto with Artur Rubinstein and a second-rate conductor who insisted throughout that I was thumping much too loudly for his taste … that is, until Rubinstein himself told him to stop picking on me! In fact, he said he was getting a kick out of my performance! I needn’t mention that I never heard anything more from the “Maestro" on the topic of dynamics. But, as an instructor, I have failed to experience any such freedom of interpretation … only opportunities here and there to adjust to a student’s special needs. Therefore, there just may be an explanation for my longevity in ESL. Perhaps it’s because I have finally learned that NOTHING is perfect while I am, nonetheless, playing my part in the cause of international communication. In fulfilling this ambition, I cannot deny that it’s been a grand pleasure to interface with those of the world community and, through English, actually attempt to learn their cultural and intellectual differences … even how to aid in their contentment while here in the USA.

In conclusion, I must remark what a privilege it has been to discuss (sometimes argue) the good, bad, and indifferent aspects of our ambitions as ESL instructors … as fellow-humanoids. Many of you may recall me as The Arrogant One, while, for the past several months, I’ve had relatively little about which to be arrogant. What I have learned during my absence from The Board is that we all have our ambitions (even I, at age 68), while to air such in an open forum proves not only informative but, in so many ways, inspirational for those of us who seek continued encouragement to trudge onward in our chosen profession. Amen.

With love from,

Ellis E. Seamone
(formerly The Arrogant One)