One in five parents are now saying that their child is being bullied at school, and as professional help becomes harder and harder to get , many parents and teachers are asking, "What can we do to help? "

A child with good self-esteem is more likely to be well-balanced, be happy and confident, have friends and achieve their potential at school. They will be more able to cope with change and be more resilient when things aren't going as well as expected. Self-esteem is the greatest gift you can give a child because with high self-esteem, anything is and will be possible. Low self-esteem is often identified as being a root cause of being bullied as well as bullying, anti-social behaviour, poor school achievement, truancy, crime..... the list goes on.

So here are 5 ways to help a child develop their self-esteem:

1 Make time to listen, talk to and praise the child.

This will help develop their sense of being special. Children have powerful imaginations - when you use positive language, and a wide "praise vocabulary" you will help them to develop a strong selfimage that will help them to resist put-downs and critisism from others. The phrase "we are what we think we are" sums this up quite well, does it not!

2 Reward or celebrate the child's achievements.

When a child has achieved something that is good for them (even if that same thing for another child is quite an ordinary everyday thing) over-act the verbal praise and exagerate visual cues such as your facial expression .

3 Behaviour

If you need to reprimand a child for their behaviour, make sure that they are aware that it is not them but the behaviour you disapprove of. This enables them to de-identify with the behaviour and the disapproval, drop the behaviour and keep their self-esteem intact.

4 You are one of the child's most influential role-model.

Demonstrate your own selfesteem with the things you do and say. It is important that you show that you believe in yourself and have self-respect. If you struggle with this, pretend that you do. Psychologists call it the "Act as if" Principal. If you act as if something is true, your unconscious will start to make it a reality for you too.

5 Achievements

Help the child imagine a special place in which to keep all their achievements and positive qualities. You might suggest that they imagine a treasure chest, a "This is your life" book or a photo album to store them in. They will probably have some good ideas to contribute to this and you can help them remember how they felt at the time! You may even be able to give this feeling of achievement or pride a colour which they could imagine being all around them like a protective bubble. Guide them into giving these positive images lots of attention, making them large and in colour, looking at them frequently, improving them, updating and adding new events. You might suggest that they do the opposite with memories and thoughts they would rather not keep - drain the colour out of them, make them small and find a way of pushing them away, the further the better, letting them go - perhaps they could picture them floating away in a hot air balloon or being carried on a cloud that blows away into the far distance.

For Further information contact:

Carol Hargreaves

Child and Adolescent Therapist

ACHIEVE

carol@achieve4u.org

(England) 01772 860050