ARE YOU AN EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATOR?
Clement, www.mindyourenglish.com

The survey, conducted by the University of Pittsburgh’s Katz Business School, points out that communication skills, including written and oral presentations, and an ability to work with others, are the main factors contributing to job success.

If you don’t know to communicate, you don’t know to survive. Life is all about communicating or sharing what you feel and think. If you want to be noticed by people around you, you must communicate. It is a well-known factor that the ability to communicate secures lucrative jobs. Many individuals struggle to communicate their ideas effectively as a result of which they have lost precious opportunities and valuable relationships. Some create a mess whenever they try to communicate their thoughts.

Most problems in the world can be easily solved if there is someone who can grasp the gist of the problem and communicate it to the people concerned. Communication plays a prominent role in all spheres of life; marriage, friendships, society, office etc. People do suffer inexplicable pain and agony because they have made mistakes in communication. Communication skills are essential for success.

The success of communication lies in how you make your listeners understand your message without ambiguity.

Lani Arredondo, the communication specialist and conference speaker says, ‘Those who have made the most positive impression on me, and who’ve had the most positive influence on others as well, all share in common one quality. They’re excellent communicators’.

The revolution in technology introduced cell phones, pagers, voice mail, e-mail, fax, video conferencing and internet chat rooms. Thanks to these high tech devices, we are able to communicate faster. The question is ‘Are we communicating any better?’

Speaker and Listener

Both the speaker and the listener play vital roles in making effective communication. Both must understand the same information as a result of the communication. By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you send cause a communications breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals – both personally and professionally.

Barriers of Communication

1. Credibility of the speaker
2. Inattention of the receiver
3. Ambiguous expressions
4. The wrong selection of vocabulary
5. Premature evaluation of the receiver
6. Misinterpretation of the message

The formula of communication is

H-1 W-6

How, Where, When, Why, Who, What,How?

You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. — Lee Iacocca

An effective communicator knows which channel is right to convey a specific message. Some messages may be effectively communicated in person instead of sending an e-mail.

Messages are conveyed through channels, with verbal including face-to-face meetings, telephone and videoconferencing; and written including letters, emails, memos and reports.Different channels have different strengths and weaknesses. For example, it's not particularly effective to give a long list of directions verbally whereas an e-mail can do the job much effectively.

While talking, you must pay attention to,

Rate of Speech – fast or slow. People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute, but they can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 words per minute (WPM).

Pitch – the degree to which a sound is high or low

Volume – talking loud or low

Tone of voice – Sarcastic tone, Aggressive tone, Defensive tone

Instead of saying, “You have to finish this by 3 PM”, you can say “I need this by 3 PM today. How soon can you get to it?” If you pay attention to the above vocal cues, you will send more positive messages to people around you.

Where?

You need to speak differently in a formal meeting as compared to a casual conversation. In official meetings, you need to have purpose and plan for your presentation. You have to be time-conscious because you are dealing with people with busy schedules. You need to be very careful about words and comments too. Imagine you are in a meeting. The group is discussing a problem with a project. You offer a suggestion about how it can be solved. Your friend remarks, “That is a stupid idea”. How do you feel? You probably wouldn’t have minded, had he told you in private.

The setting does play a vital role while you communicate. If you want to converse about your promotion to your boss, don’t select a place of distraction. Get an appointment when he is not busy. If you start discussing in his office on a busy day, you will miss a precious opportunity to explain why you deserve one. Select a place where he would be free from interruptions.

When?

"Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." - Dale Carnegie

Right words at the right time will transform hell into heaven. One right word will revive the weary soul and one wrong word may break the heart to pieces. Martin Luther correctly said, "You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say."

The listener must be in a good frame of mind when you communicate. Avoid saying anything at any time. Read the mind of your listener and decide whether it is the apt time to proceed.

If you try to point out a weakness or a mistake in your colleague’s work, don’t blurt out when people are around. It may backfire. It is important to note when you speak. Your words may be right but the time may misinterpret the whole idea. If the other person is not in the proper emotional state of mind, your words may not be taken in the right sense.

Why?
Asking the right questions takes as much skill as giving the right answers- Robert Half
You must have a valid point in your communication. It is quite common to hear some unwanted and irrelevant comments from people in an important meeting. If you have nothing to say, don’t speak at all. Every sentence must be pregnant with concrete point to enhance the discussion. Always be aware of official and unofficial occasions. Wrong words ignite heated arguments and mess up the mood of the occasion.

Who?

It is rightly said, ‘You can’t tell everybody everything or consult everybody about everything’.

Communication is processed through an individual’s frame of reference. The frame of reference is made up of,
· Attitude
· Beliefs
· Education
· Emotional state of mind
· Experience
· Gender

You must be sensitive about the person you are talking to. If you meet a person for the first time, think before you leap (speak). Don’t jump into conclusions before you know the person. People get caught without warning as they don’t know whether the listener is aggressive or passive. Some could be really explosive when they hear some comments. Don’t argue with aggressive people as it will add fuel to the fire. Encourage passive communicators to speak more to understand the problem.

When you talk to your superiors, WATCH OUT! GUARD YOUR MOUTH! Learn to be brief and to the point. Don’t exhaust them with your lackluster information. Judith Filek, President -Impact Communications, Inc. writes “Business people have short attention spans. They are used to multi-tasking and they are often pre-occupied with things in their personal and business lives”.

When you talk to your spouses, pour out your heart. The common complaint of many married people is the lack of communication.

What?
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Do you remember the occasions when you used wrong words and hurt people beyond repair and you still regret? You have no power over a word that is already out of your mouth.
The mind conceives thoughts and the mouth converts them into words. The smart ones know which words are to be delivered. This process takes only some seconds but you must learn the art of deciding whether you need to verbalize all thoughts. You may not be able to control your mind but you can surely control your mouth. Better be quiet than to utter some foolish words.

It doesn’t matter what good actions you have done but one wrong sentence can tarnish your reputation beyond recognition. Recently, a leader of expressed his opinion on a ticklish issue and he had to pay a heavy price for that. People in big seats must be more vigilant when they speak in public.

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions – Naguib Mahfouz

Listen too!

"Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer." - Dalai Lama

Will you agree if I say ‘being silent’ also plays a vital role in effective communication? Communication is not about just talking but also listening to others. Haven’t you felt like saying to someone ‘Shut up and listen for a while’? Others would have felt the same thing when you kept talking. There is a powerful message in listening – ‘you are worth listening to’.

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. - Peter F. Drucker
Good listening skills aid communication. Listening skills can be valuable to you and to your loved ones. By using non-judgmental invitations to talk, you open the doors to meaningful conversation. Some good phrases are:
· Let's discuss it.
· Would you like to talk about it?
· Tell me about it.
· I'd like to hear about it.
· Tell me the whole story.
· It sounds like you've got something to say about this.
· This seems important to you.
· I'm interested in your point of view.
As a person talks, you can keep encouraging them with phrases such as:
· I see.
· You did?
· Mm hmm.
· Oh, really?
· Interesting.
· You don't say.

Always customise your communications to suit others. Many of the problems that occur in an organization are the direct result of people failing to communicate. Faulty communication causes the most problems. It leads to confusion and can cause a good plan to fail. If you contemplate on how good you are as a communicator and the ways of improvement, you will soar higher.

TODAY’S COMMUNICATORS ARE TOMORROW’S LEADERS.

Clement is an ESL teacher and Corporate trainer. He maintains a site www.mindyourenglish.com