Thank you for the pedantic lecture, but since my source was a full professor of advanced English grammar at San Francisco State University (with a degree from Berkeley), I'll stick with his opinion.

If you want to come in here and decide who's qualified or not to teach you will need more authority than he has.

As for your third paragraph, which implicitly destroys your own argument, we can note that it is just as easy to "mishandle" meaning but retain correct grammar.

We also note that you are factually incorrect, since "Swiss German has NO real grammar rules."

http://deutschdrang.com/dir/swiss-oddities/linguistic-free-for-all/