I don't think it would be too difficult for most people to imagine that they are a homeowner; the owner of a large home with a spare (unused) bedroom complete with en suite bathroom.

You're managing the mortgage payments well enough but it occurs to you your mortgage repayment situation could be improved if you rent out the spare room.

So, you advertise the room for rent; you invite people (strangers) to come and live in your home.

As with the majority of relationships (family relationships, friendship relationships, business relationships), there is mutual benefit. In this example, your mortgage burden is eased and the boarder enjoys a nice home in which to live.

The relationship is not, however, critical to either party. If the boarder leaves, you go back to managing your mortgage on your own, and the boarder will almost certainly be able to find another room to rent.

As the homeowner, it would be natural for you to believe that you are the dominant party; you are the controlling party. You have in mind a set of rules to ensure that the household functions efficiently and harmoniously.

And chances are, you won't inform your boarder of each and every rule before he or she moves in. You may outline the basics such as no loud noise after 11 and no parking cars on the lawn, but you're unlikely to explain that you expect the washing up to be done within 30 minutes of finishing a meal, or that Saturday morning is YOUR time for using the washing machine.

Realistically, in real life, you're likely to mention most of your rules of conduct after the boarder has taken up residence, e.g. "Oh, by the way, did I mention that you can't / you shouldn't / I don't want you to ..".

Now, what would your 'unmentioned' rules of conduct comprise? Well, your outlook is long-term. You will be living at the house for the next 20 years. You are thoughtful of your reputation within the neighborhood. You have concerns about what neighbors may observe happening at your home.

Would you (and please, be honest with yourself) be comfortable with your boarder eating his breakfast on the front patio, dressed only in his boxer shorts.

Would you be comfortable with your boarder bringing home one-night-stands every weekend? Who are these one-night-stand persons, strangers, entering your home? Are they undesirables? Can they be trusted?

Would you be comfortable with your 40 year old boarder having an affair your neighbor's 19 year old daughter. After all, the rental agreement he signed is for only 6 months. What happens when he leaves? Will the neighbor's daughter be heart broken? Will your neighbor somehow see this as being your fault?

On the other hand, your boarder probably thinks that he / she has inalienable rights about the way he / she chooses to live his / her life. So what if he / she is living at your home! That doesn't give you the right to tell him / her how to live their life!

This analogy resembles the circumstances which most foreign teachers will find themselves in when they take up residence at a school in China.

The golden rule that will apply throughout your stay in China, the one thing to always remember, is that you are a guest in this country; a welcome guest but nonetheless a guest. China is your temporary residence but it is the home of the Chinese people; Chinese people are your hosts.

In your own home, be it Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the U.K. or the U.S., you are at liberty to do as you please. You can put your feet up on the coffee table whilst watching TV, you can watch XXX movies on cable TV and you can tell your next door neighbor that if his dog craps on your lawn one more time you'll make him eat it!

But you are not in your own home. You MUST take into consideration, and be respectful towards, local laws and customs.

Be mindful that your school, in formulating rules of conduct, has a different set of priorities than you. The school has a reputation to think about; it can't pack up and leave if things go wrong.

If the rules and regulations of your school are unacceptable to you, TELL THEM. If your school is unwilling to make changes to accommodate your requirements, then give them notice that you will leave at the end of your contract / end of the semester / in 30 days hence. Don't be hostile or bitter. Accept the situation for what it is; two parties whose expectations do not match.

Adopt a common sense approach to everything that you do here in China and you won't go wrong. And, if you have any doubts as to whether you should or should not do this or that, ask for advice from one of the Foreign Affairs Office staff, or one of your foreign colleagues.