Margarine is one molecule away from being plastic.
My old Dad was a margarine 'freak' until one day I suggested he open a tub of marj and put it in his garden shed to see what happened. After 3 months, nothing! No flies, no mould.....nothing!
Go on Taffy, spread that marj on nice and thick!

Yep, marj is vile stiff. The only thing going for it is that it spreads easily from the fridge.