The best way to speak to the Chinese is as they speak to you. If respectful, be polite, but distant back. If rude, be rude and then some back to them. Kindness is mistaken for weakness in that part of the world, and being kind will get you nowhere there. I once put a rude chinese person who had something against me speaking English in his place, by saying I could speak Chinese, learn some English or another foreign language, and then we can have a conversation. Ignorant, and unwilling to learn about the world outside of them, that is your average middle aged chinese of today.