Hi Magister. Thank you for writing what appears to be an intelligent post, because then at least I can respond with logical argument and not have to fight fire with fire by shelling out insults. Nevertheless, all of you are fighting out of a losing corner, because you can't justify having sex with 21 year old students where you work. You might as well be trying to debate the right to stone women to death for wearing shorts. In the year 2012, middle aged men just can't take advantage of their teaching positions to prey on students sexually anymore. That's a remnant of a bygone patriarchal era. But let me dismantle your arguments for you.

Is that serious advice or are you just being facetious?

Both.

I can't see how getting permission from mum and dad would help this situation.

Here I was being facetious. I was just pointing out that the "teacher" in question would probably be quaking in his boots if he had to face the parents. When you are asking some sexpats if it's OK to "bang" (to use your friend Silverboy's word) a student, there's no fear involved. Asking her parents means asking someone for whom the girl in question is precious. He would be scared shitless to face them, and I am just reminding him of that context of how her family would feel.

I'd agree that many of the comments made about both Chinese and western women are derogatory and unnecessary. However, your unwillingness to accept that a 21 year old woman can make any judgement or decision for herself and instead should allow her parents to make her decisions for her is just another form of chauvinism, albeit that you have decided to take the moral high ground with your argument.

I never said that, though, did I? That's why you are finding an inconsistency. You made up a position, attributed it to me, and then stated it was inconsistent with what I actually said. See the paragraph above about being facetious. Who ever said a 21 year old woman can't make any decision for herself? She can. But the reason universities by and large unanimously forbid teachers to have sex with their students, and why it is a felony in some of the States, is because of the difference in power because the teacher is an authority with power over students.

As for the FAO, you must be joking! Your first contribution to this site was to write a scathing attack on such people and their power plays. Now you're suggesting a teacher should seek out such individuals and ask them advice regarding their love life!

Yes, I was joking, but also serious. Of course, the OP wouldn't tell his FAO. The reason is because he knows damned well that it's against the rules, and the FAO would be pissed and tell him so. One needs to acknowledge that one is going against the code of conduct of the university where he is employed. I worked at a UNI in China where a Chinese teacher was dating a student, and my FAO said he was a "very bad person". Point is that the OP would be petrified to face the FAO or the girl's parents.

Once again you speculated as to the intentions of both parties when you claimed that the relationship is "doomed". You know nothing about these two people or what they want from the relationship, how can you make such a brash claim?

Is it a "speculation" or a "claim"? Of course it's doomed. As I've mentioned, it's a "felony" in more than one State in America. Look, I was propositioned by a student my first week teaching. I told her my policy of not dating students, and word got out and I was never propositioned again. Point is, ANY and EVERY male teacher will have opportunities to sleep with students. Instead of swaggering online about taking advantage of that, saying it's some mystical magical romance, or strutting about liberating her sexually, the man should keep his pants on, keep his wits about himself, act like a professional, and seek romance and sexual fulfillment elsewhere. If he isn't an ugly pile of shit that can't meet someone outside of students he has power of (and they don't have to be his own students to fall into that category), than he can use sex workers.