In August myself and a few mates will be in Philippines on a sex, sand, surf, steak and beer tour for two weeks.

You should ditch those mates and concentrate on the task in hand , namely finding that wifeter; likewise with the beer and steak; Asian girls (who are not gold-diggers) don't like their chap to enter the bedroom stomach first, and beer and steak won't help you with that. Now, am I right or am I right? Are you positive that you are not in China?