Fear not turnoi, you are still young at heart and sharp in mind, and as long as you are white that gives you a distinct advantage. You don't want to die alone now, do you, calling out the good lords name? No, no, far better to be married to a nice asian wife than be alone. This can hopefully inspire you:

Yes but Turnoi is more hansomer than wot that shrivelled up film director be; he could go for a younger model; she's a bit long in the tooth, would you agree?