If you're blonde and have got a nice rack, who cares if your English ability isn't actually that great? Got to get those teenage boys to turn up to classes somehow.

Oh and if you're black, you've got to tell them that you're from South Africa, regardless of the fact that countries such as Nigeria and Kenya use English as their official language.

If you're of East Asian heritage, just don't bother. To them, you're like a Chinese person that can't even speak Chinese. Regardless of your possible actual fluency in Chinese and far superior qualifications in comparison to that dumb white guy in the classroom next to you, you'll still end up getting paid less than he does.

Haven't found any purple coloured teachers yet. But those training center guys are probably working on it, and it will be a new addition to the dancing monkey menu eventually; coming to a training center near you.

Perhaps, what is sure however is that without their FTs most private schools and training centers would run out of business in a blink. FTs are the centerpiece of their marketing strategy and more often than not the only reason why parents and students pick school A above school B.

All of you who have been/are in China HAVE to find a VPN to see this short New York Times documentary by David Borenstein (link below). Cunning Linguist will laugh, San Migs will cry, Silverboy will say "I have been doing this for decades", Turnoi will find an explanation in Confucianism and Yufa will get business ideas for his new restaurant. The 3 guys disguised as British royal guards will make you cringe or send you ROF, depending on your nationality.

In provincial West China, I filmed specialty firms that collect groups of foreigners whom they rent out to attend events. Clients can select from a menu of skin colors and nationalities; whites are the most desirable and expensive. The most frequent customers are real estate companies. They believe that filling their remote buildings with foreign faces, even for a day, suggests that the area is “international,” a buzzword in provincial areas that often translates to “buy.”

Musicians and models — often amateurs billed as “famous” — are the most popular personas. But while making this video we also encountered Westerners posing as businessmen, athletes, diplomats and some simply as city residents.

Enjoy!