Rheno747
- 2006-06-07
CLOWN CHARACTERIZATION
For TESOL teachers 21 and over. No prior experience necessary. Discover the way of the clown in teaching ESL and ESOL students. You will create a clown character with a unique life history; learn how he/she moves, thinks, walks, talks. Learn the secrets of professional white-face make-up application under the tutelage of a Headmaster and professional clown, storyteller, and actor.
Seven weeks. Three credits
PHYSICAL CLOWNING
Pre-requisites CLOWN CHARACTERIZATION or its equivalent. For TESOL students 21 years of age and older. Learn how to walk into walls, trip, fall, hit and be hit and yet survive. Students will explore how to use their bodies effectively in their clowning to get their students to pay attention in even the most boring English classes. You will also learn professional Auguste make-up application, how to juggle as well as other physical skills essential to clowning in your classrooms. Plan to purchase juggling "silks". Class under the supervision of the Headmaster.
Seven weeks. Three credits.
BALLOONS, MAGIC AND COSTUMING
No pre-requisites. For TESOL students 21 years of age and older. You will design your own costume as you explore various fabrics, patterns, colors and learn sources for your costume. You will also learn entry-level balloon sculpture and close-up magic suitable to your clown character. Plan to purchase balloons and magic accessories. Class under the supervision of the Headmaster.
Seven weeks. Three credits
ENSEMBLE CLOWNING
Pre-requisites - Clown Characterization, Physical Clowning and Balloons, Magic and Costuming. You will take all the skills learned during the year and hone them for classroom performance. You will be assigned classic clown routines, rehearse them with other clowns pursuing graduation. You will then perform the assigned material in a public graduation ceremony from the TESOL, Inc. Clown College under the direction of the Headmaster.
Nine weeks. Three credits
THE BUSINESS OF CLOWNING
This course is a pre-requisite for graduation and is conducted outside of the regular class time, usually on a Saturday during January. Under the direction of the Headmaster, students will learn the importance of TESOL as a business, determine a base-line salary, how to secure private English lessons, the optimal ways to advertise private lessons, discuss proven methods for difficult learners and other issues essential for creating and being a successful TESOL clown. Every Saturday in January.
Six hours. Three credits
I should have thought of this idea before. Forget the 21st century language lab. Forget grammar on a TESOL platter. The clown college is where it's at!
Think of it.
Instead of going to a normal TESOL mill, one could go to this "hip" (thanks to some slick marketing) new TESOL program and learn those same techniques we learn today at a "normal" program.
Yes, at this new clown college, we'd learn all those techniques we are expected to use today to fool ESL students into thinking they're becoming native speakers one hour a week. But at the clown college we could learn to use nothing but smiles, jokes, a whole lot of laughing, and silly games, not to mention orange wigs, striped suits, and size 34 EEE shoes to get our classrooms rocking, our studnents eating out of our hands, our names in papers, and nobel prizes in TESOL for "great" teaching. A lucky teacher or two may even find himself the subject of a blockbuster Asian movie.
Oh, yeah. Just like when the smilely-faced "strategies" are used now in Asian classrooms, no one would really be learning anything from the "new bozos". But no one would care, just like now.
Just like today when the clown techniques are used, our students will come away with five new vocabulary words a year and maybe a pronoun thrown in. But those students would be having a great ol' time, and, most importantly, they'd be forking over mulla to our schools in record amounts if their teachers are grads of the new clown college. We may even be able to finally double our salaries, practically overnight, in places like Thailand.
Lots of current TESOL teachers would drop everything and go to this new college. They at last could stop simply acting like clowns and become real ones. Some are so devoted to the clown persona I'm sure the first classes would be standing-room only.
Now the question is: how do we incorporate this new paradigm into the TEOFL test or even the SAT/ACT?