lea
- 2006-07-11
i weigh just a few kg less than a hundred kgs.
six months ago i married a chinese excellent man who is 19 years younger than me, and weighs about half my weight.
we are now in my country, and we are doing very very well. much better than could be expected.
he would like me to loose weight, and so would i.
but he is totaly devoted to me, and this is true love.
i know him for six years, and it was in no means a flimsical decition.
i don't want to paint the reality pink, but it seems either i was extremely lucky or persistence and a decition to live my life despite my weight was the way to go.
tsk tsk
- 2006-07-10
When I was young, people laughing at me because I'm skinny. Now they call me fat because I am wearing size 6. Asian look skinny because their bones structure are small and Western are fat because they have big bones. Every country, there's skinny and fatty. So what, skinny, fatty...does it matter? Aren't we all human here? Gosh, people. Get a life!!!!! You guys are all well educated. Go read a book. Leave the skinny and fatty alone for god's sake!
Sarah
- 2006-05-06
> I would like to make to point that western women have evolved with
> larger, taller frames and much curvier figures. In contrast Chinese
> and Asian women have evolved with a very petite build. It is unfair
> to western women to make this kind of comparison as most western
> women, even if very slim would still be "bigger" than most
> chinese/ asian counterparts due to their natural frame. Myself I am
> considered the ideal weight for my height, but am definately bigger
> than most chinese women!... that's not to say that there aren't many
> overweight women in the western world, but lets face it- with the
> popularity of western fast food restaurants now in china, some
> chinese women won't be far behind in a few years time!
I agree with most of what you are saying, but I would like to add that by Chinese standards, the ideal looks annorexic to most other countries in the world! From my experience, what is seen as ideal for a woman is skinny -meaning no emphasis on muscle tone, just skinny and fair skin. Westerners, particularly Americans, perfer the athletic look, we also have higher priority on curves. What I'm saying is that what East Asia considers "fat" is very different from what other parts of the world consider "fat".
And as you said, bodies are different.
For example, I had a wedding in Taiwan and I had to try on the "plus size" gowns because the rest wouldn't fit over my hips! I am a size US 4 and am considered by western medicine to me one pound underweight, YET I had to wear the "fat girl" size and I was told repeatedly that I would be "so pretty" if I lost some weight. 
I also want to add that while Americans are famous for being fat, the English are actually statistically more overweight. Also, I'm sick of hearing that McDonalds/American fast food is to blame for Asian obesity. The simple fact is that American food is just as healthy, but you have to choose what you eat. If you eat crap food/fast food, of course it won't be healthy. Same with Chinese food, there is healthy and not-healthy, but not-healthy tastes hellufa lot better so you shouldn't characterize a whole culture's food by their crap/fast food.
Guest
- 2006-04-24
I would like to make to point that western women have evolved with larger, taller frames and much curvier figures. In contrast Chinese and Asian women have evolved with a very petite build. It is unfair to western women to make this kind of comparison as most western women, even if very slim would still be "bigger" than most chinese/ asian counterparts due to their natural frame. Myself I am considered the ideal weight for my height, but am definately bigger than most chinese women!... that's not to say that there aren't many overweight women in the western world, but lets face it- with the popularity of western fast food restaurants now in china, some chinese women won't be far behind in a few years time!
cha yin zhe
- 2005-07-01
Well, heres to our trolling visitor:
GET A BETTER ATTITUDE!
What was it in my comments that caused you personal discomfort? Are you so insecure and self conscious? I wrote about my observations not about whether or not Im for or against the size of a persons body and why not I might add. Im not extolling the virtues of Western or Eastern women Im giving my observations and wondering if other people see the same thing. You are the one bringing derogatory terms like fatness in to the forum as well as insults so carry on trolling and try not to be so self conscious and insecure.
Cheers
visitor
- 2005-06-29
Cha yin zhe, 
I was strolling through the sites when I come across your comments. I'm really surprised at how sad one person can be. I have lived in Asia for many years,it is normal for Asian people to think most western women are fat, even if they are only a size 12.In fact I never met an Asian woman that wasn't happy with her self and always bitching about other people. I am not going to write a long essay on why there are differences, but Westerners and Asians are chalk and cheese in many ways. The fact of the matter is, that I would just like to add, GET A LIFE! There are more important, interesting things to write about. I suggest you get out there, instead of looking in the mirror and saying how wonderful you are and that poor, sad, fat, western women are doomed.
One more point, don't be surprised to no that not all Asian men are intimidated by overweight western women. Why do you think some of them make good lovers? and Why? do I see many overweight western men with slim Asian women? 
I mean 
how could they? when they are all so happy, skinny, WHITE and perfect 
A visitor to the site.
The Joker
- 2005-06-28
I think this is the problem everywhere to be quite honest about it. People are generally shy and ill at ease in different countries. I do not honestly think it has anything to do with snobbery.
cha yin zhe
- 2005-06-28
I agree with some of your points Mic; in particular what you wrote about us lao wai tending to have a dislike for one another, at least on the surface. This isnt unique behaviour to lao wai in China but also in our home countries there tends to be much less eye or verbal contact between strangers. Many people tend to want to mind their own business at any cost and in China theres seems to be this disdain for the other foreigner in the street. Perhaps many of the foreigners here are trying to get away from their fellow
Countrymen/women and hence the distance they keep. Of course it would be ridiculous to write that all or most foreigners are this way inclined but I have seen many who do tend to keep their distance. It would make perfect sense to presume that foreigners are seeking solitude and tend to be the loner type; the great majority are single.
You write that you find Anglo-Saxon women to be bigger than their continental European counterparts! I think that we, generally, only see women from the US, Canada, UK, Australia in China because the market requires native speakers. That would explain your observation but I would add that Southern European women tend to be heavier than Northern women especially soon after marriage; they tend to let themselves go somewhat.
Dos
- 2005-06-27
Well, yes, I would agree with you in cities like Dalian, Shanghai, Guangzhou, but they are hardly your average Chinese city!! They are all modern cities with a relatively high 'westerner' count. Most other cities (the ones we have never heard of usually until we go there) are quite different, even the bigger cities.
Anyway, grumpy other foreigners is not usually high on my list of problems!
Mic
- 2005-06-27
China has many great things to offer, It depends what you are looking for and the type of teaching you want to do. I don't recommend China for money, better to teach in South Korea for that.
Just some observations I made while here, I wonder if the rest of Asia has similar things happening.
The Joker
- 2005-06-26
Good got mic. you ah really depressing me ah. Is a ha China aha no go area? 
The Joker
- 2005-06-25
Hey guy look on the bright side, this says alot about the Chinese: they are not bloated and self indulgent. Interesting paradox though, the fact that western women are also interested in fat wallets!!!!!
Mic
- 2005-06-25
I know what you mean, that is right, we don't say "hello" to strangers, although many Chinese people believe it is common for us to do so.
Rather, what I was trying to say in that there is not a cheerful and friendly attitude among foreigners whom don't know each other. (Yes, I suppose in a village with only two foreigners in it, they would be thrilled to see each other.) But, I mean in your average Chinese city like Dalian, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Xian.....etc.......
Most foreigners have a discontent feeling for each other(in China if they don't know each-other) like "oh great, another foreigner here to take advantage of this developing country", countless times I have walked by foreigners and seen others just have this "unhappy to see you feeling" or "what is this person doing in China". But, then again I sometimes do the same, like I saw a foreigner who was dressed all "skater-punk" with the spiky earrings and spiked hair, so of course, I gave him a look like "what is this guy doing in China" , couldn't he have left this spiky-punk silliness back home.
I think in a European country like Slovakia or Hungary, an American or Englishman would be thrilled to see each other, but in China it is like they disgust each other.
Dos
- 2005-06-25
I have seen my fair share of larger ladies in China, but not all of them are big by any stretch. Having said that, most lao wai ladies are larger than their Chinese counterparts, even the 'thin' ones.
Mic, where are you from? You don't write like a westerner if you will forgive me.
"But, the one thing I notice most about the lao wai people, is that they seem to dislike each other. Have you ever noticed a lao wai girl, she won't smile to you, they walk by with a serious look on their faces, while in England or USA, they wouldn't hesitate to give a friendly glance"
In most cities in China a westerner will say hello to another westerner, if only because there are so few of us around! Certainly not the case back in the west. In some bigger cities with more Lai wai this doesn't happen, but that is because it doesn't happen in the west either! Chinese don't go around greeting total strangers on the street do they? The same for us.
Mic
- 2005-06-25
Yeah, I am very similar to Jinchafa. My tall height and high metabolism makes it difficult to hold the weight. But, in China, a "basketball" players body is not a bad thing these days.
I was at the airport in Shanghai and I noticed some of the Chinese people were laughing at this Western woman, and they were laughing because her body was very large, in fact, her butt must have been the size of two computer monitors(honestly!!!!). I don't know why many of the North American and UK women whom are in China have very large figures. It seems the Portuguese women and Russian women here are in much better shape then the Anglo-Saxon women. I suppose the Anglo-Saxon women whom do have nice figures, I think the prefer to go to France or Italy, something about those two countries are considered "romantic" in European tradition. So I ask some of the other teachers, have you notice that the female Anglo-Saxon ESL teachers in Central Europe are in better shape than the ones in China....?
But, in my opinion, I think the Chinese people in China are generally in better shape than their overseas counterparts..... strange, but true...
Maybe it is easier for larger lao wai women in China because they can't understand what people are saying about them, whilst in their home countries they can understand every negative comment made about them... Perhaps it is not an act of celibacy, but a way to escape something. Western man doesn't like fat women, trust me, we also like girl in good shape(look at most of our popular celebrity women)
Also, there is a strange but true Asian traditional thinking pattern, such as fat means you are wealthy and happy, so you eat well and are fat(think of the Milla Buddha: very fat, smiling, joyful)
But, the one thing I notice most about the lao wai people, is that they seem to dislike each other. Have you ever noticed a lao wai girl, she won't smile to you, they walk by with a serious look on their faces, while in England or USA, they wouldn't hesitate to give a friendly glance. The same with the guys too. Is it that the lao wai hates to see other foreigners like themselves in China? Why aren't they friendly to each other and smile. I also notice that sometimes other lao wai dislike some lao wai because he is meddling with the locals... In my home country, I often like to talk to people from India, but for some reason I feel it is very difficult to make friends with them here in China. In conclusion, I am flustered why there is so much discontent(between foreigners) for the fellow foreigner in China.
jinchafa
- 2005-06-24
Now there's a post I can't help but respond to. You've definitely raised an interesting point. The unfortunate truth is that nearly 65% of Americans can be classified as overweight. I imagine that many other Western countries are fast approaching that point also. So, doing the simple math, let's just say that six out of ten ESL teachers, be they men or women, are overweight. But your question is more direct and suggests that you have observed that more than six out of ten female ESL teachers in China are overweight. Further, you wonder what lures them to China. So do I. I also wonder why they don't lose weight in China. In America I've always maintained a certain weight that I find acceptable, but my problem is the opposite; that is, I have to work hard to keep the weight. However, in China I can't keep my weight up, and it only takes a month or two before I lose about 20 pounds and most people think I'm too thin - for an American. In some ways this points to the obvious truth that the concept of correct weight is relative to cultural norms. So some Western women that you consider to be "heavily built," for example, may be considered only Rubenesque (not sure about that spelling)in other cultures.
The simple answer of course is that those women you refer to, cultural definitions put aside, have an unhealthy life style. That is, they eat too much junk food, drink too much alcohol, avoid exercise and generally just eat way too much food of all kinds. But, as most health experts will tell you, the answer is not always that simple.
Well anyway, I know this doesn't answer your question. And in fact I'm as confused as you are by the phenomenom. Thanks though for making me think.
I'm looking forward to other postings that address this issue.
By the way, I just spent 8 weeks in Shandong Province and was shocked to discover that many Chinese women, especially the younger ones, fit into the above mold of athletic builds or are decidedly overweight. I was glad to return to the South where I don't feel so diminuative.
Ive been in China for quite awhile now and it never ceases to amaze me how many of the Western ladies I come across are heavily built and involved in ESL work!
Whether I travel to or work in large cities or small I find that the Western ladies I see or meet are invariable large and invariable teachers. Any one of these ladies could be the prop forward of an international rugby squad and yet here they are in China teaching. Are these large women in some way genetically pre-disposed to be ESL teachers in China or is this phenomenon more wide spread? What is it about China that attracts these women anyway; I would have thought this country of all countries would be difficult enough to fit in, no pun intended, just by being foreign. Regardless of a persons physical shape the foreigner stands out in China and the Chinese stare a lot at us lao wai so by being lao wai and big creates more staring.
The Chinese female is virtually obsessed with being thin and the Chinese male regards white skin, round faced and thin girls to be attractive so how do the larger Western ladies feel about that I wonder. We all hear the stories about foreign men and Chinese women and the fact that the Chinese girls are seen as very attractive, at least physically, and about relationships that ensue. Conversely the Chinese male is invariably intimidated by Western women and a relationship between them is extremely rare so how do the Western women in general and large Western women in particular deal with this? The Western women Ive worked with either directly or indirectly never had a relationship whilst they were in China! They all said that they didnt find the Chinese men attractive and the Chinese men never approached them! Is coming to China an act of celibacy for these women, are my observations only mine?