A teacher was trying to demonstrate that his student was 'stupid' in front of the class.
'So, imagine you are walking down a dark street, late at night. You see two lights in the distance. What do you assume it is?'
Student: 'A car.'
Teacher: 'What kind of car? A Porsche perhaps? A Mercedes? Toyota?
Student: 'I don't know.'
Teacher: 'See, you're stupid! OK, what about if you only see one light?'
Student: 'A motorcycle.'
Teacher: 'What kind of motorcycle? A Harley? A Yamaha?'
Student: 'I have no idea. But may I ask you a question?'
Teacher: 'Of course you may.' As he looked at the student with confidence.
Student: 'You are walking down the same street. You see a woman dressed in high-heels, a mini-skirt, and fishnet stockings. She's leaning into a car window talking to the driver. Who do you assume she is?'
Teacher: 'A hooker, of course.' He said, smugly.
Student: 'Ah, but is she your mother, your wife, or your daughter?'
'Hello Darlin', how do you like your eggs in the mornin'?' wink wink....
'Unfertilised. Now p*ss off!'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went into a shop and said, "Packet of condoms please"
The shop assistant smiled at me and said coyly, "Would you be requiring small, medium or large, big-boy?"
I paused for a moment, looked her deep in the eyes, smiled, and then slowly said, "L a r g e"
B*tch gave me a packet of 144.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that if women are so good at 'multi-tasking', they can't have sex AND a headache at the same time?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------