As my grandmother used to say "What a load of old Codswallop".!!

Why don't you write to the Pope about all your good works, sainthood could be just around the corner.!
You sure don't do humble do you. ?

I once called you an idiot, well, I have to revise that opinion. Does the term 'complete pillock' mean anything to you ?. you won't find it in the Aussie slang book, but I guess you get the idea.