doesitmatter
- 2009-01-06
Well, nothing like the brutal truth, eh? Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. But generally, you would be well advised to follow this poster's advice. Or maybe you're a gambler. In that case, how's your luck?
To be honest, though, I've seen it work both ways. I'm one of the lucky ones. I came here as a teacher (not a pretender)with no other agenda than to teach and to pursue my interest in Asian cultures. Figured on moving on to SE Asia after a year or so here, but got lucky and met a nice lady who has no interest in going to America, so I'm still here. I'd have to drag my girlfriend kickin' and screamin' to get her to America, so there's the exception to the rule.We've been together more than four years - never got married; moreover, I have no interest in getting married - been there, done that - and neither does she. If we ultimately do get married it will be because we want to have a kid, but that's still on the back burner.
On the other hand, I've seen some guys get seriously burned, and I've heard enough horror stories to fill a book. The other side of that coin, though, is that many guys come here knowing full well that there are many ladies wanting to make the leap to the West, and, by knowing that, they're able to cut quite a swath through them. Personally, I find that rather distasteful - especially when I have to listen to their bragging when they discuss these things within earshot. But, oh well, what the hell; to each his own. I could add that those very same guys are here only for there own satisfaction and don't give a damn about their students, but that's a topic for an entirely different thread.
Not surprised anymore
- 2009-01-06
Likely you have heard this before but, are you nuts?
Chinese women, and I know more than you having lived here for years, care about 2 things, money, and marriage. If they marry its because of money, both are closely linked. Love is a distant second, believe me.
You must be flat out desperate man, and I tell ya, you are in for a whopping surprise. Chinese women, "have" to be in charge. If you don't let them be, they will beat you down until you do, or you have the sense to leave, or you die from old age.
The last thing you want to do is marry a "chinese" woman you met on the internet. Doing when you know them for real, that's bad enough, but the net? Dude, if you come here and live here, you will meet a lot of women, why the net. You must have seirous self esteem issues.
I am not trying to insult you, I am trying to save you a lifetime of misery. This woman, she is only marrying you to get the hell out of China. Yeah, she says she doesn't want to leave China, they all say that,m because they don't want you to think that's the only reason they are marrying you. Of course in the end it is, that and a better life, through money.
My friend, second think this, bigtime. For one thing, living in China, well, not so much fun. It can be, but ultimately there is a reason why she wants out.
As for benefits to being married to her. Sorry, this aint the USA buddy, you marry her you won't be a citizen or anyhting. You will have no special status at all.
Bottom line, it isn't worth it. Get off the net, stop being so shy, talk to real live women in America, don' come to China to get married, you will regret it, I promise you.
I am a 53 y/o American male, considering marrying a 43 y/o Chinese business women in Wuhan. In short we met on the net, she is divorced, has a sales management job with one adult son. If things work out, I am planning on visiting her there twice to learn, listen and see, before finalizing my commitments here and then moving there with her. It appears she has no other ambitions to have a life long loving relationship. I am obviously being as careful as possible, but am wondering what if any legal obstacles I will have living there, in addition what benefits I will gain through marriage to her if any.