HireEd
- 2009-07-12
TRUE STORY:
In 2005 I was teaching for a school in Nanjing that offered evening oral English classes to adults at a low cost (my favoprite place to teach, so I always accepted gigs from them). According to their course text, one particular evening I was to teach a lesson about Easter -- but without discussing Jesus/Christianity! (can you imagine? no easy feat).
Instead, I focued on things like the Easter Bunny and more secular aspects of the Easter holiday celebration. Apparently, I failed to clarify a few things that I had mentioned becuase a few days later, I received a text message from a very kind, older, rather macho male student that read: "How do I cook jelly beans? Please tell me."
Sa
- 2009-07-11
A teacher to a Parent:
Teacher: Ma'm your son has cheated in his examinations.
Parent: You can prove that I am sure
Teacher: Well put it this way the first answer of your child's partner was yes.
Parent: So that proves nothing .
Teacher: But for the second question your son's partner wrote "i dont know" and your son
wrote "neither do I"
Sa
- 2009-07-11
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
Sa
- 2009-07-11
Teacher: "Anoop, stop showing off.
Do you think you are the teacher of this class?"
Anoop: "No, Miss."
N_A
- 2009-07-11
The mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning.
"Nobody in school likes me," he complained. "The teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in for me. I don't want to go to school."
"But you have to go to school," countered his mother. "You are healthy, you have a lot to learn, you have something to offer others, you are a leader. And besides, you are 45 years old and you are the teacher."
Student
- 2009-07-11
Teacher:What is the capital of China
Student:You Know
Teacher:Yes
Student:Then why are you asking
Sa
- 2009-07-11
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in English, answer it in English."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
robrt
- 2009-07-11
Little Manu Jokes
Teacher: Why are you late?
Manu: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Manu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Manu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Manu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Manu: Me!
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Manu: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
Manu: A teacher
Sa
- 2009-07-10
A teacher had just moved house with all her possessions including box after box of books.
As the van driver put down the last box in her second-floor flat, he grumbled,
"For Heaven's sake, lady, why didn't you read them before you came?"
Sa
- 2009-07-10
Chemistry Teacher: "Can you give me the formula for water?"
Student: "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-."
Chemistry Teacher: "Where did you get an idea like that?"
Student: "You told us the other day it was H to O."
Get up! shouted Alberts mother. Youll be late for school.
But I dont want to go -protested Albert. All the kids are horrible, the teachers
are terrible, and its all extremely boring. I want to stay home.
But, -replied Alberts mother, Youre forty-three and the headmaster of the
school.