Thanks for the reply, Turnoi and I appreciate the concern. I've been researching this for quite a bit now (TEFL) and already realize that odds are heavily stacked against me, it being a given that many East Asian schools employ a blatant discriminatory policy giving preference to the"long-nosed" Caucasian types (or, I will say it, whites). I realize that my experience in the educational field is very limited and that my age probably will work against me (I'm 25). And I'm aware that the EFL industry in East Asia is declining in terms of new foreign teacher recruitment.
I'm also aware that there is still a growing demand for teachers (even though the reasons may be more a shade of ethics gray), that Asian-Americans have repeatedly and successfully "broken into" the market, and that many of the teachers there in resemblance only don't give a shit or a brick about education. I believe that its not a "long-nose"s world.
A part of me is banking on compassion for the castaways of the diaspora from the institutions of their mother country. (Although I don't quite believe that part for some reason.)
And I also realize that onsite will always always always trump online, and that people love their name brands.

Basically, I'm eventually planning on getting the revered CELTA sometime in the near future if I decide to TEFL for a while. But the near future spans more years than days and I want to get out there ASAP. Paying off school loans would be nice too. Also, the direct experience in a field that I'll be good in and want to do, at least for the near future.

Again, thanks in advance- My main question is whether or not cheap, online certs are actually and substantively better than no certification at all. If I inserted a, ie $200 Linguaedge, cert blurb in my resume, would admissions at all stop and check off their "Has TEFL certification" box?