TEACHERS DISCUSSION FORUM
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#1 Parent Ivan Milat wu ke lan - 2010-09-02
Re: School in Changchun, Jilin

More so if the employer forbids it as a contractual term. I also think an employer has every right to include it in a contract. If we dont like it, we also have every right to take a different job

NP, I think you are flogging a dead horse. Unfortunately, Silverboy seems to think there is no need for rules in contracts and society. Well, from having lived in Australia and the UK, "Anglo Saxon" societies do have "rules" which must be obeyed. Without rules, how can order be kept, or consideration/respect for others be maintained? Smoking is now banned in pubs and restaurants in the UK, and it is a rule that is enforced. But Silverboy seems to think just because he is in China, he can date students at the place he works, as long as they are not HIS class students or English language students. As NP says, it would be frowned upon in certain jobs in the West, why should it be considered any more acceptable in such a traditional society as China?

Their country, their society, their rules. When in Rome and all that. Or as an aussie guy I used to know said: " If you don't like it, you can just piss off, get a flight ticket home". Never truer words spoken, perhaps?!

#2 Parent Nick Pellatt - 2010-09-02
Re: School in Changchun, Jilin

Im not going to say its immoral, but I think regardless of situation, if a teacher at a University chooses to date a student at the same University, you have to expect flak for it. Whilst it is done often, and many of us might have done it before, and may do it in the future, I think the sensible admission is that it isnt really the done thing. More so if the employer forbids it as a contractual term. I also think an employer has every right to include it in a contract. If we dont like it, we also have every right to take a different job.

I personally think its pretty hard to argue in favour of dating students.

Ill just add ... I dont think the argument against it is the same as the arguments that may exist in Western educational establishments. Often in the West that kind of relationship would have a really unequal power balance, and favourable grades could be bestowed upon the student. Grades that could really enhance the students prospects. Im not sure, but I think most FT's in China dont really have so much power or influence in setting grades that would affect graduation/certificates/degree grades... I could be wrong there tho.

To some degree, the power balance is quite even in Western/Chinese relationships....I guess we need their language skills and guidance for so many everyday things as much as they need our language skills????

Generally though, I think its hard to justify it as being acceptable, straight up behaviour. I wouldnt fall out with a colleague who was in the described situation, and I wouldnt avoid him or her ... but I wouldnt really agree with him defending it in the way its been defended here.

Sorry Silverboy. I hope your relationship works out for you, and I wouldnt never wish either the relationship or the job went sour ... but I think you are wrong is stating its your right to date her. Many companies in the West frown upon such things, and dating isnt encouraged in many companies that have nothing to do with education. Teacher/Student??

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