Dragonized
- 2011-05-24
LOL!!! Gordon you should be on TV with this information.
Crap School Spotter
- 2011-05-24
100% true. 100% pure fact. Spot on.
Gordon
- 2011-05-23
Key: Foreigner = F; Chinese Lady = CL
Conversation 1:
CL: If I agree to marry you, will you buy me a flat?
F: Not at first. But I'll do so after a couple of years. No worries. You can trust me.
Cl: I've decided to tell you the truth. I don't love you. We should break up.
Conversation 2:
CL: If I marry you, will you buy me a flat?
F: Sure, no problem.
CL: I love you. Buy me the flat, and then we can marry.
Conversation 3:
CL: If I marry you, will you buy me a flat?
F: Sure, no problem. And I'll buy you a car too!
CL: I very love you forever. My family and friends will say how clever I am, and they'll all adore you. As soon as you buy me the flat and the car, we'll marry.
San Mig Beer
- 2011-05-23
As far as girls from the North being "no good," well, that's utter nonsense.
Man, that's your opinion...but all the best and kind girls I met were from the south, hey, they aren't exactly a piece of cake either...but either way, I hear ya!
Montezuma
- 2011-05-23
Let me weigh in on this. I've been here in China quite a while and have had my share of relationships, one of which came close to culminating in marriage. Looking back on it I'm very thankful that didn't happen. All of these folks telling you to avoid hooking up with a teacher are absolutely correct. It's tempting because they speak English and that's one less thing to worry about, true. Teachers, in general, are very status conscious and constantly worried about what others think of them. Trying to "change" that way of thinking will drive you insane if you let it. It is my experience that finding a Chinese girl who simply doesn't care what others think of her is absolutely essential. Barber shop girls pass that test. If your snooty colleagues don't like them, who cares? Seriously. Many of those girls have had a pretty tough life and know what "struggle" really means. Teachers, on the other hand, spent years with their noses in a book cramming useless "gaokao" prep into their heads while seeing very little of the real world and caring even less about it. Many are little more than fleshy robots programmed to do exactly what they see as their "duty": Marry a dude with a house, of whom their parents approve, pump out a child shortly thereafter and slip boringly into middle age. Keep in mind it is the school system here that PREVENTS Chinese from learning, in a perverse way. Teachers are a big part of this. Even the few who dare think divergently dare not express these thoughts out loud very often. Teachers are among the most conformist people I've met here. They don't see their job as teaching students to "think for themselves." They view themselves as folks who keep the country "stable." And stability is king here. Women here speak of "love" quite frequently but don't really seem to get what it really means. A barber shop girl will be so happy to have a guy who doesn't get piss drunk and smack her around on a regular basis and instead treats her like a person that she cares very little how old or "unattractive" he is. My present girlfriend is 30 years younger than me and we've been together for a year and a half. I'm by no means ugly (or so I tell myself) but I'm hardly GQ material either. My 7000 yuan a month salary seems enormous to her and we live pretty well. We're about as "happy" as is probably possible here in our little city.
I'll give you the same advice I've given lots of guys. The first question you should ask a girl is "Where are you from?" If she is a local person, politely move on. No matter where you are in China a local girl will be a hassle to deal with. Their family is a constant presence and NOT in a good way. She will never truly be "herself" in her hometown. She'll live in a constant state of anxiety that she'll be seen by someone who knows her. She won't go home with you and spend the night. (I'm painting with a broad brush...there are obviously exceptions.) After you've been with her a while and if you think you're ready to take a step toward formalizing your coupling, you'll need to go home with her, generally around the time of Chinese New Year.
One strong piece of advice I can give you is to learn Chinese. You'll miss out on many girls if you're unable to talk with them. You don't need to be fluent. Conversational, "survival" level is good enough for a start. They'll teach you. They like that.
As far as girls from the North being "no good," well, that's utter nonsense. It's where you are when you meet them that matters. If you meet a northern girl in the south she'll be just fine. I had a GF from Heilongjiang and she was great. Tall, buxom, athletic in the bedroom, the whole nine yards. Met her in Guangdong when she was far from home and letting it all hang out, so to speak. (She eventually married a foreign guy, not me.) I met another woman from Liaoning, again while I was living in Guangdong and she was, well, pretty OK as well. A tad "older" and divorced with a high school age daughter.
Good luck! You'll be fine.
Crap School Spotter
- 2011-05-23
This is true in most cases. I am fortunate in that my spouse does not want to leave China. However one of my spouse's friends does want to and she is trying to use a foreign man to get out of China. I was kind enough to let the embassy know and I inadvertently sent them a digital photo of their ID card too. They called, and that person is on their hot list as a no go. Darn... 
People's Beer
- 2011-05-22
first we try...then we trust!
In terms of security doctrine: Trust is good, control is better:
In terms of commercial advertisement: Try before you buy.
In terms of a customer: I want to know what's in it before I take it.
Farmer approach: A farmer wouldn't eat anything that he does not know.
Apollyon
- 2011-05-22
This has to be a wind up...surely?
Not at all, I'm trying to be helpful.
I should just add that I wouldn't entirely be put off by girls mainly after your money or going to the west. I mean you can hardly blame them, we all need a bit of a helping hand on that old ladder at some stages in our lives. Another thing is, is that we FT's are not exactly known for our good looks and charm and if you sport a beer-gut, a receding hairline and wear dentures you can't expect LITTLE LOTUS BLOSSOM to be that altruistic she'll happily settle down with you in a bulk standard Tianjin flat. There's always a payment to be made when you acquire a wife or girlfriend anywhere. Now, the payment you will have to make if you stayed home in London and found a woman would probably be that she'd be a big fat ugly thing with a breath that would make a hyena retch. If we want something so tasty that you could pop her on a stick and lick her and you are not Cary Grant, you must be prepared to invest a little. Meanwhile be friendly to your students-it's sometimes difficult for them to get a decent hot shower; whereas, you have one of your own-be sharing.
Stoli Vodka
- 2011-05-21
Keep away from ANY Chinese woman who does not want to stay in China. They only have one objective in life: that is to steal YOUR money! YOU will be expected to get a visa for them, and YOU will be the FOOL who is expected to arrange everything and pay for it!
Very SOUND advice. Bob knows his onions!
Any girl who starts talking longingly about a life abroad...well, it's not going to turn out good...I know a few brit guys who married guangdong gals and they are happy, first we try...then we trust!
Cheers,
Stoli
Stoli Vodka
- 2011-05-21
Senior middle students are nice too.
This has to be a wind up...surely?
Aussie Bob
- 2011-05-21
Well, first of all, keep away from Chinese teachers. The are useless, and they are "educated" snobs who think the world owes them a living. Most of them have no life experience, they know nothing about the real world, they think a university is the real world.
A Chinese woman teacher is generally lazy and selfish, and will expect you to buy an apartment for her. Another thing, if you you marry a Chinese teacher she will will expect her kids to be educated at a Western university and YOU will be the one who must PAY FOR EVERYTHING!
Keep away from ANY Chinese woman who does not want to stay in China. They only have one objective in life: that is to steal YOUR money! YOU will be expected to get a visa for them, and YOU will be the FOOL who is expected to arrange everything and pay for it!
I agree with the OP, stick with southern girls, easier to find a good woman in Guangdong, Fujian, Guangxi, but keep away from Nanning or Liuzhou girls ( worst scammers in Asia ) As for your comment about Chinese teachers looking down on hairdressers and thinking they are tarts, YOU BET THEY LOOK DOWN ON THEM!
But really, who cares what they think? Find one you like and give her a good pounding in the bedroom. She will love every minute of it, and appreciate it!
Apollyon
- 2011-05-21
Ever since I arrived at my senior middle school here near X'ian, I've been trying to forge a serious relationship with a Chinese lady teacher, alas to no avail to date. They either say they're too busy to accept my dinner invite or pretend they don't know what I said. I know they're not speaking the truth in the latter case because thereafter it's painfully apparent they try to dodge me. I'm a white Aussie bloke.
Chasing Chinese teachers is more often a hiding to nothing, forget about them; however, you must have a wealth of nineteen, twenty year old students who would value extra oral English lessons in your spare time. It might well be against what it says in your contract about dating students but you're a beer-swilling, no -worries Aussie for God's sake, and rules, grist for the mill for you to be broken.
First thing to do is to get yourself a QQ account. If you don't know how announce it to your class and they'll be falling over each other to get your QQ number. Next step get yourself a gimmick, for instance you can start cooking tasty pies or dumplings. Put your QQ number up on the blackboard and start communicating with students (and teachers if you like) Next invite them to your flat to try your tasty dumplings-they will usually come with a friend-so, it's up to you when you find one you like, when she says she would like to revisit, you say "okay but don't bring a friend because I really like you and have something to talk to you about. When she appears you should give her a big sloppy kiss. At that stage she might take flight...just move on to a different student-but she may change her mind at a later stage. The funny thing about Chinese studentesses is, they may well complain if you do or don't follow the course book in class but never complain if you want to bed them, even if they refuse your kindly offer. You won't be the first FT to find yourself a wife or just a girlfriend like this. My American mate is over sixty, well over, and he always has a university student girlfriend- Senior middle students are nice too.
Crap School Spotter
- 2011-05-21
Its difficult. I have a Chinese spouse. Many social pressures, stupid stereotypes, family BS, rumors, gossip, and of course...., everything in China revolves around MONEY. Ya gotta buy an apartment...WHY? NO IDEA since you most likely will never be home to live it in anyway. Then comes to passport and visa issues to get your Chinese spouse out of China.....Lots of drama with that too....
I personally cannot say that I would not do it all over again exactly, but.....I would think twice. Really.
Beers
- 2011-05-21
First of all avoid girls from the north, or that province you are in. I can tell you from experience that those girls are no good.
If you are looking to find a wife and settle,the south may be better, a lot of kind girls....to be honest, they can be fickle everywhere!
Ever since I arrived at my senior middle school here near X'ian, I've been trying to forge a serious relationship with a Chinese lady teacher, alas to no avail to date. They either say they're too busy to accept my dinner invite or pretend they don't know what I said. I know they're not speaking the truth in the latter case because thereafter it's painfully apparent they try to dodge me. I'm a white Aussie bloke.
In contrast,my colleague is from Ghana and much younger than me. He picks up disco girls no problem, but is always skint despite eating cheap restaurant meals regularly. I suspect he's paying for getting laid, and it didn't come cheap.
With the advent of hot weather the other day, I entered a barber's for a short back and sides. There were three sexy girls there. They were all over me, figuratively speaking, and seemed to be genuinely interested in my background. If any one of them were to become romantically attached to me, I'd feel over the moon. Despite their poor English we had some kind of a chat, a basic one. It turns out they're poor village girls who work for the owner, a married Chinese man. He was present at the time, and seemed to condone their openness and flirtatious behavior. If I knew I could find a sincere honey among them, I would go for it full steam ahead, for back home I could never pull such stunning girls, even if I were loaded. Have any of you virile men taken up with female Chinese barbers in China, leading to great marriages? Or are those kind of girls merely tarts and golddiggers looked down upon by Chinese professionals like teachers? You see, I don't want my Chinese colleagues to look down on me for dating a Chinese doll who works as a barber. I must act cautiously.