if you have japanese ancestry, then perhaps China is not the best place.

Are you sure japanese history is inviolate?

I don't think the expectation that I should be able to eat a restaurant meal without getting sick is being "picky". If I step on your foot, you experience pain; this is not being "picky" about your physical comfort. Or, perhaps you're referring to my comment about racists? Well, I forgive you because I didn't mention that I have Japanese folks in my family. Chinese folks who hate Japanese, simply because of their nationality of birth (and not because of something they have personally done to them), also hate my family. I don't want "friends" who hate my family, thank you. Again, I don't think this is being "picky".

Another poster made a comment about food at street stalls. There is actually another reason why I don't want to eat in Chinese restaurants: sewage oil. Yes, that's right. There are folks who collect waste oil from restaurant sewers, "refine" it, and sell it back to restaurants at a very low price. Local authorities have found many restaurants in town (even so-called "good" restaurants) which use this "recycled" oil. Unfortunately, not all the impurities in it are removed before it is used again. Not being subject to testing or regulation, this oil may (probably) contain substances which are harmful to one's health. With this in mind, even if no-one smoked in Chinese restaurants, I would not patronize them.

Now, back to the main topic. Another thing I've learned about Chinese folks, and Chinese men, in particular, is that they are boring (Chinese women have breasts, which make them only slightly more interesting--to look at, anyway--until you realise that what you see is mostly padding). I don't think I've ever met an interesting Chinese man. Their "interests" extend to family and work, and to little else. Many will claim that football or basketball is their "hobby", but I've yet to meet anyone who says this, who can also describe the characteristics of the ball they play with. Where I come from, a "hobbyist" knows special information about their subject. While I have never played either football or basketball, I know more about both of these activities than most Chinese men, yet I do not claim football or basketball as my "hobby". It's not easy to talk on a subject with someone who knows almost nothing about it.

As to the more "interesting" topics of politics, religion, or sexual behavior, I've discovered that Chinese folks don't really have their own thoughts on these matters. Rather, they repeat what they hear, without any conviction based on personal experience or reasonable judgement. In most cases, their expressions are lifted directly from the state-controlled media and presented as "original" thought. When prompted to elaborate, they simply repeat themselves or tack on more vitriolic diatribe.

It's not easy to have expat friends, either. Shanghai is a big city, and getting together with someone who lives in another part of town can occupy the better part of a day (even with the added "convenience" of the new metro "system"). Many expats do not work a "standard" (Monday to Friday) work week, so their days off (Chinglish: "rest days") are usually mid-week, and are often divided (e.g. Tuesdays and Thursdays). Not only this, but they are subject to periodic revision; someone met on Tuesday afternoon for a few weeks may suddenly have their days off changed. It's not easy to maintain contact with folks whose schedules are always changing. I knew a guy from my (foreign) hometown, in the same line of work as me, and we were able to meet only twice in five years; it's been three years since we last met.

That was a great post, and it shows you what kind of a world we live in. I always find fellow expats to be the reason that I still want to travel abroad, as they are the types of people who share the constant ideology of finding and searching for people whom they have things with in common. You'll always be disappointed if you put too much hope in locals.

I've been here for nine (9) years. I have a Chinese girlfriend. I don't have any other Chinese friends. Oh, yes...over the years, I have shared my email address or mobile phone number with thousands (really!) of Chinese folks. Twice a year, I must clear out my phone and email contact lists, deleting hundreds of people who have never since contacted me. Those that have contacted me usually want free English lessons, or they want me to write/edit their school/business reports, resumes, email messages and so on. Sometimes, I get messages from folks asking me what an English word or phrase means because they are too lazy/cheap/stupid to buy and learn how to use a dictionary. Admittedly, I am picky about who I call "friend". I will not have racists for "friends", and this eliminates 99% of the Chinese folks I meet. Another problem I have relates to Chinese society, generally. I am allergic to ETS, so I cannot go to Chinese restaurants, bars or clubs; I cannot even go to the gym because management allows guests to smoke indoors (usually in the locker room). Even going to the park on a sunny day is a problem; if a smoker sits upwind of my position, I must pack up my things and move along, or I will get sick. Having someone as a "friend" typically involves spending "face" time with them, sharing activities and interests, building a common history together. However, being unable to participate in Chinese society because of smokers puts a serious crimp on this.

My advice: Give up. Cultivate your expat contacts, here and abroad, instead. Chinese folks just aren't worth your trouble. They will use and abuse you, and ignore you unless you have money or something else to give them. Chinese strangers (and even those who know you) will never help you if you cannot find something you need, if you are lost, or if you have problems. If this doesn't alleviate your situation, my only other suggestion is to listen to Chinese folks when they tell you to, "Go back to your own country."