People have a very different concept of friendship here.

Sadly since around 2009, imho, the same can be said for a lot of foreigners in China also. They also seem to become GW's on arrival.

The ‘few real friends’ aspect is an important one. If you trust people too much or easily accept absolutely anybody as a friend, you might struggle here. People have a very different concept of friendship here.

Another thing to be aware of is that there's always an angle to any Chinese who go out of their way to befriend you. It will probably be money-orientated, eg free tuition from you or getting you to teach where there's a commission that you don't know about pocketed by your Chinese new-found friend, or acting as your agent/interpreter in a pink room for a commission.

The first two I have personally experienced with folks attempting to take advantage of me. The last one I was fortunate enough to avoid but nevertheless it's still pretty disturbing.

As for Chinese women, those mousy types will never get involved romantically with laowai. You'll 'attract' golddiggers by and large. You don't want to be a meal ticket bossed around by such a woman. There are suitable wives here, but it's not easy to find them. The main thing is to ensure you're the boss in the marriage, not her!

The mousy types I avoid anyway, I know folks married into Chinese families and I prefer someone who is more open as they can have a hidden agenda. You are right it's hard to find a good woman. I would look for one who is willing to go both through thick and thin. What scares me off from dating when I'm in China is the entitlement mentality that many of the girls seemingly possess, even the sweet ones.

Being someone who's been around the block, I assume you found a pretty good one?

Back in the states and in my trips to China I have spoken with chinese women about their viewpoints regarding why they date chinese men and why they date foreign men. I can tell you that sexism is alive and well in china. You don't see all these adoptions happening in the USA for no good reason.

NO NO NO NO! with respect Dragonised, don't start cross examining Chinese girls, as if you're, an operative for British intelligence in the 1950's-not very romantic you know. Be a red-blooded American, tell her she's beautiful, tell her her eyes are like ebony, her skin puts ivory to shame-But don't talk about how she is connected to an evil regime, bit of a bromide that, don't you see? I am going to have to take you under my wing HA HA HA- Am I right or am I right?

I wasn't looking for a chinese wife to begin with. I never entertained the idea of finding a life partner on qq. It's obvious from the way you've drawn your conclusions about me that we're operating from different paradigms. Back in the states and in my trips to China I have spoken with chinese women about their viewpoints regarding why they date chinese men and why they date foreign men. I can tell you that sexism is alive and well in china. You don't see all these adoptions happening in the USA for no good reason.

As such, I don't think chinese women in general are the salt of the earth either. I have met a few who might be but just like anywhere else (taking your words) you have your share's worth of females you'd shy away from. I do not think for one second that the proportion of decent women in china is better than that of any other country. Thinking like this is dangerous, as it will open you up to being taken advantage of.

I do not let my dislike of the vices of chinese people bring me down. I firmly believe that all cultures that were at one time great in their history (including china possibly) practiced virtuous ways of living like sharing knowledge, being charitable, and running a government that was more fair than their contemporaries. But at the same time greatness isn't achieved by one single people, if you look at empires throughout history they all had more open markets where expats could come and live and make a life for themselves. In this regard modern China is way backwards being that they can't even keep their own smart people inside the country. We are all connected in one way or the other, and the Chinese nowadays do not possess as big of a capacity to accept other out of their demographics as people in other countries do.

The difference between being naive and being ignorant is a wide gap. Naive people will defer to and be willing to listen to folks who have success with their knowledge/career/beliefs. Ignorant people will only wait to find an opening in another individual where they can prove they are better in some way, even if what's being discussed is something they can't grasp their mind around. What I have a problem with is the ignorance of some of the posters who cannot take criticism of China. If you were reading posts on this board going way back to 07' you'll see how whenever there was a negative review about a school or training center in China you would see a whole flock of folks go up in arms about it. Hence you see why I take a "take no crap" stance when I have a disagreement with someone. If you don't like to hear things that will stir the pot, don't come to a public forum.

Your own posts are as biased as anyone's, so the value of your opinion is relative.

I will state this: Due to a lack of self respect, the Chinese in general do not believe in equality for anyone, including themselves. You, me, and anyone on both sides of the argument carrying on with the ongoing discussion of whether china is better than the west will get no extra love or respect from the folks we are both criticizing and defending.

I know for a fact that if you're not of chinese background, you will NEVER be accepted as one of them. If you are married to a chinese person, you might be inclined to speak more out of emotion rather than informing yourself truthfully. I suggest you be more fair, this includes comparing and contrasting different opinions from all types of news sources. Now since I'm assuming you're still living behind that great firewall of china you obviously do not have access to many of the media sources.

My experience as well as that of Silverboy's reflect an honest look at how we feel about chinese people and this mostly comes from personal experience. You can beat your drum all day about how much better your opinion is better than ours. But you will have come no closer to convincing us than we have towards you.

I did not make any statements about loyalty to the homeland or whatnot. My opinion contrary to yours is your mindset is wrong. You believe china to be equal in status to the west. Your post about being grateful obviously backs that up. But what I have a problem is you can't see anything beyond that of yourself. You can cry about how easy your job is and how much better your life is because of it. Fact is it has got nothing to do with me or anyone else. Maybe that's why china as a whole has lower quality people than other countries.

When someone criticizes something that is in conflict with your own paradigm, you don't take a step back and learn to think outside the box. But being so comfortable in china I wouldn't trust you to have that ability in the first place.