Strange reply, I 've never thought wanting to help others is a "waste of time".

Well, if the beliefs taken on board by a person stem from avoidable bad personal experience, any resulting advice said person proffers to others is not only a waste of time but reckless and damaging. Take accepting a job in China without proper investigation, it will not only end disastrously but result in one blaming just about anybody else, including recruiters and agents, anybody else apart from oneself. It's the same with personal relationships, if you are led into them by your balls or feeble expectations they are likely to end badly. You are simply no good with women, SB. I used to be a bit the same even though my previous marriage did last 18 years. My saving grace was always that I accepted the errors I made myself, and unless you do that you can't learn a thing.