The one thing I have to do right off the bat is thank you for being so bluntly honest. Although I do take most things to heart, most of what you said to me hot home and made me realise a few things. I have a diploma in Corrections and Police Foundations which was a two year college course. Other than this, I only have my high school. My main dilema bud is that I am form the east coast of Canada, which unfortunately screws me out of any grasp on grammer or proper vocabulary. Do you know of any top notch places I might be able to go and get certified that can assist me with this problem and touch up my messy grammatical skills and spelling? I appreciate all you can offer without the sarcasm. I am very serious on helping out where I can and money is not on the top of my list. I, being a sappy assed, big hearted dummy I am, want to just help and make somewhat of a difference on this crappy rock we call earth. if there is anything at all you can help me with or want to contact me besindes on here, e-mail me at super1515@hotmail.com. Thanks for waking me up and showing me the harsh reality that is to be unless there is help out there.
Doug

Dougie-Babe,

> Thanks for forgiving me for my previous sarcasm. Again, I had no
> desire to hurt you, Man ... only to have a little "fun" at
> your expense. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings ... REALLY!

> As for locating any kind of overseas employment for you ... IF your
> current output TRULY exemplifies your best effort, then NO, I'm
> afraid there is nothing that I dare recommend in the way of
> employment. On the other hand, there are scads of schools and
> agencies in China who would just LOVE to offer you employment! The
> only problem is, if your English is not up to snuff, it wouldn't be
> too long before one of the students wages a complaint, or you are
> evaluated (while teaching) by one of your peers ... both of which
> likelihoods could, in short order, place your gluteus maximus out on
> the cold, stone pavement with no salary or air fare back to the Land
> of the Canuck! Doug, let me inquire as to your academic background,
> if I may. Also, what kind of gigs have you been holding down of late?
> Maybe I or another board contributor could make a LEGITIMATE
> suggestion or two to assist in your time of need.

> To answer your inquiry pertaining to MY questionable activities, I've
> been in the ESL game for the past 13 years in Japan, China, Brazil,
> and currently the US of A (as a TOEFL instructor). Prior to that, I
> had spent 20+ years in music (classical & '60s rock-n-roll) as a
> percussionist. As I mentioned previously, I don't know WHY the
> @!%& I ever left music for ESL, but I have always had a
> noticeable penchant for instructional activities. WHY NOT? My father
> was an underpaid university instructor for most of his relatively
> short life. But, Doug-Baby, I am 67, while I assume you're young
> enough to improve your act and get started on your teaching career,
> assuming that is what you most desire as a profession. Let us know,
> while I'm certain there are those of us out here who are not too smug
> to attempt to assist you.

> Cheers,
> The Arrogant One

> ==================================================

> C'mon, now, Doug-Baby! ... Gimme a break, already!

> Let's NOT get our *&$!# bowels in an uproar! Just having some fun ...
> nothing serious, I assure you. Anyway, why the hell do you think they
> dubbed me "Arrogant Teacher?" Just living up to my name,
> Man ... that's all! American? Of course I am. In the epic words of
> one Stanley Kowalski (Brando - 1951), "What I ham is one hundred
> pu-cent American. Ahm bawn and raised in duh greatest country on dis
> oith, n'ahm prowd of it!" "CAREFREE and full of
> ignorance"...??? No way, Jos! I can't afford such luxury.
> "Holier than thou" attitude...??? No doubt, you'd acquire
> greater insight on that issue from my first wife, Buddy! "The
> world's best English teacher" ...??? POOEY! No interest
> whatsoever! In fact, I spent 28 fantastic years in the rle of
> professional musician, and WHY I ever left the fold for this jive
> remains, to this day, the greatest enigma of my life.

> I'm certain you've got me figured all wrong, Pal. B-U-T, should you
> feel more comfortable with an enemy-image to help you get through
> each and every day, PLEASE BE MY GUEST. Just don't make any damned
> effigies of me to stick pins into! OUCH! I'm ultra-sensitive to that
> sort of thing!

> Cheers,
> The Arrogant One

YEAH I KNOW YOUR JUST BEIN YOU...THATS NO PROBLEM. YOU SEE I HAPPEN TO BE A CANADIAN SO AUTOMATICALLY I AM PRONE TO SENSITIVITY..CANT HELP IT REALLY. I CANT BELIEVE YOU DROPPED A LIFE OF MUSIC, TRAVEL, BINGE DRINKING AND A## FOR THIS. YOU MUST HAVE DONE ALRIGHT DOIN YOUR THING ON STAGE TO DIDNT YOU? YOU MUST HAVE PLAYED IN ENOUGH CHURCH HALLS AND CHILDRENS BIRTHDAY PARTIES TO EARN A LIFE BETTER THAN THIS. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING AND WHAT PLACES DO YOU RECOMMEND THAT YOU HEARD OF SO FAR THAT ARE HALF DECENT FOR IGNORANT, OVER-EMOTIONAL, ILLITERATE CANUCKS LIKE ME.
GO KERRY!!
DOUG

C'mon, now, Doug-Baby! ... Gimme a break, already!

Let's NOT get our *&$!# bowels in an uproar! Just having some fun ... nothing serious, I assure you. Anyway, why the hell do you think they dubbed me "Arrogant Teacher?" Just living up to my name, Man ... that's all! American? Of course I am. In the epic words of one Stanley Kowalski (Brando - 1951), "What I ham is one hundred pu-cent American. Ahm bawn and raised in duh greatest country on dis oith, n'ahm prowd of it!" "CAREFREE and full of ignorance"...??? No way, Jos! I can't afford such luxury.
"Holier than thou" attitude...??? No doubt, you'd acquire greater insight on that issue from my first wife, Buddy! "The world's best English teacher" ...??? POOEY! No interest whatsoever! In fact, I spent 28 fantastic years in the rle of professional musician, and WHY I ever left the fold for this jive remains, to this day, the greatest enigma of my life.

I'm certain you've got me figured all wrong, Pal. B-U-T, should you feel more comfortable with an enemy-image to help you get through each and every day, PLEASE BE MY GUEST. Just don't make any damned effigies of me to stick pins into! OUCH! I'm ultra-sensitive to that sort of thing!

Cheers,
The Arrogant One

> EYE M SOREE. EYE GESS EYE HAV A LOT MOAR REEDING AND PRAKTISSINF
> BEEFOUR I BEECUM AS SMART AS ALL OF THEE OTHER INGLISH TEECHERS HEAR.
> I BET THAT EYE AM PROBIBLEE ONE OV THE FYEW HERE THAT AINT IN IT FOUR
> THE MONEE, BUT FOUR THE PEURE SATISSFAKSHUN OF A JOB WELL DUN (but
> apparently not to your standards) EYE APAULOGIZE FOUR MY STOOPID
> NOSHUN TO MAYKE A DIFERINCE. I M NOT AS PURFICT AS THE INGLISH OR THE
> AMAIRIKANS. I AM SOREE FOR MAYKING SUCH A FOOL OV MEYESELF. I GESS
> EYE WILL TAYKE UP BASKIT WEEVING INSTED OV TRYING TO HELP SUMONE
> SUCKSEED WITH A KNU LYFE FULL OV POSIBILLITEES IN HOUR CUNTREES.
=====================================
SHAY DERE ...AHM NOITISCHING AH LITTER FRUM YA 'NA AHM VANTIG GIT YER RESSUMME FER AH G-R-A-T-E POSISHUN 'N MOI BILDINK ... JANITOR IS IT! VOT GRATE QWAL-FU-CASHUNS YA GOT! ONLY AHM FORGIT DAH ADD-RESH FROM DAH BILDINK! AS SOON I LOKATE MOI VIFE I SHENT IT ON TI YA! HO-KAY? AHM VANTINK YA CUM VOT MOI CUNTREE HO-KAY? DAH BEER GRATE HEYR! DAH VOMANS GRATE! DAH PAY ... 2 BUBUJEES DEH VEEK!!! DENKS MUTCH 'N GOTT BLESH.

> Thanks for the advice about being a janitor. maybe ill check out the
> wanted adds. if you are reffering to my short hand english that is to
> avoid a lengthy convo. (conversation) and tired fingers at the end of
> it. short hand is quite the thing nowadays and if you are good at
> english (which i assume you are because of your grammer skills) you
> would know what i was talking about, if not...to hell with ya ( that
> means you)

=============================

SORRY, DOUG ...

It appears that I must agree with Laowai this time and open MY fat mouth to protest to an ongoing travesty, to wit, YOUR CONTINUED CRUCIFIXION OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE! My God, Man ... this goes far, far beyond the question of "shorthand English!" Nay! nay! It well represents the failure of the US public school system! I counted at least 12-13 errors in the above paragraph! It's no record, however, as I once taught a class of 3rd-graders! All I can say is that you have one hell of a lot of 'chutzpah' to subject the readership of this or any other board to this brand of
'garbaggio' ... that is, unless you are playing one cruel joke on those of us who take ESL seriously. In this regard, PLEASE tell us it's a joke and prevent us from comparing your efforts with those of a Level 1 ESL student fresh off the banana boat!

W-H-E-W!

Ha! Well said!

> A double-negative equals a positive, yes?

> Therefore you see some teaching jobs for Doug somewhere, yes?

> Or was your intent "Doug, I see no teaching jobs for you
> anywhere; apply for a janitor's position where you live."

> People who live in glass houses ......

> Sure hting buddy i can keep em down. so what or how do you know then
> what school is good and what is shaddy? what do you look for exactly
> or do you just go with yer gut? this is what i have a problem with.
> does anyone know of any eastern european schools that maybe foot the
> flight?

Doug. I see no teaching jobs for you nowhere-apply for janitor where you live.

------

There are schools in China who will provide a ticket, but they are usually the bigger chains. My school does, but it prefers you buy your own. As ELLIS said, a lot of schools have been burned by teachers fleeing the coop leaving the schools with classes and no teacher and the bill.

I think ELLIS is right in what he/she (?) (sorry Ellis!) says about there being a lot of dodgy schools, but if you keep a level head, do your research, learn what to expect and come here with your eyes open then you should be okay.

I have worked in three schools in China now and they have all been very different. There are frustrations I will be the first to admit, but there are thousands of teachers working here quite happily as well, which you don't hear about so much.

BTW, can we keep the CAPS down? It is considered to be SHOUTING when you type all in caps on bbs.

Rgds
DOS

> --------------------------------------------

> HEY, DOUG!

> SORRY TO HAVE CONFUSED YOU WITH MY SARCASM! I WAS MERELY ATTEMPTING
> (IN MY OWN PECULIAR WAY) TO CONGRATULATE "CHINESE TEACHER"
> FOR HAVING ANSWERED YOUR INQUIRY IN A MUCH MORE CANDID MANNER THAN
> THAT WHICH WE USUALLY SEE ON THIS BOARD EMANATING FROM OUR CHINESE
> FRIENDS, TO WIT:
> ====================================

> I don't think schools in China will pay upfront for your air ticket.
> Some goes to the extend of cheating by not even wanting to pay our
> foreign friends their due air fare even after when they have
> completed their contract. The best for you is to save and take a risk
> coming to China. Do check around and ask, do your homework before
> taking the slow and dangerous boat to China. You never know, you may
> find a good employer or schools who will take good care of you during
> your stay or you may get one that will send you to hell 2 weeks after
> your arrival. Whatever it is, good or bad, time will tell and the
> choice is yours.
> ====================================
> AS THE MAN SAYS, SCHOOLS IN CHINA WILL NOT USUALLY PAY UP FRONT FOR
> AIR FARE. REASON(S): IN THE PAST, THERE WERE FAR TOO MANY IMPORTED
> ESL INSTRUCTORS WHO, IN HAVING DECIDED THAT CHINA WASN'T THEIR CUP OF
> TEA, FLEW THE COOP WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A ONE-HOUR NOTICE! ALSO, MORE
> RECENTLY, WE HAVE WITNESSED THE ONSLAUGHT OF "THE INCOMPETENT
> IMPORT" -- SOME WITHOUT EVEN A HIGH SCHOOL DEGREE! TO ADMIT SUCH
> FAKERS TO CHINA IS, IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, THE FAULT OF THOSE HIRING
> AGENTS WHO FALSELY REPRESENT THE VARIOUS ACADEMIC SOURCES ACROSS THE
> PRC BY NOT SO MUCH AS CONDUCTING A CHECK OF THE CREDENTIALS OF ANYONE
> BEFORE SO FREELY OFFERING CONTRACTS! RESULT: CHINA WINDS UP WITH THE
> GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY FROM THE WEST, NOT TO MENTION THE
> LIMITATIONS SO UNFAIRLY PLACED UPON THOSE OF US WHO ARE QUALIFIED AND
> WHOSE INTENTIONS ARE ENTIRELY HONORABLE. ASSUMING YOU HAVE BEEN HIRED
> AND HAVE PAID YOUR OWN WAY OVER (ON THAT "SLOW AND DANGEROUS
> BOAT"), REALIZE THAT, FOR THE FIRST (AT LEAST) FEW MONTHS, YOU
> WILL PROBABLY HAVE BEEN PLACED ON PROBATION BY YOUR EMPLOYER. IF,
> INDEED, THEY DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR STYLE AND YOU HAVE NO MONEY TO SEE
> YOUR WAY THROUGH FOR A WHILE WHILE SEEKING OTHER EMPLOYMENT,
> WELL...I'D RATHER NOT GO INTO THAT PARTICULAR NIGHTMARE.

> BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL QUESTION: I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY CHINESE
> EMPLOYMENT SOURCE THAT WOULD FRONT A TEACHER'S AIR FARE, BUT I DON'T
> KNOW EVERYTHING (TALK TO MY FIRST WIFE ABOUT THAT ONE, PAL!). KEEP
> YOUR EYES FOCUSED ON THE VARIOUS BOARD ADS ... YOU NEVER KNOW. BUT AS
> FOR VENTURING ACROSS THE WIDE PACIFIC WITH NO MOOLAH -- NO WAY, JOS!
> GOOD LUCK, MAN!

> PEACE,
> ELLIS

> UM SOOO...WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING ELLIS?? IN LAMENTS TERMS CAUSE
> IM NOT GETTING ALL THE STUFF YOU SAID ABOVE. DO YOU KNOW OF ANY
> PLACES THAT COVERS AIRFARE?

--------------------------------------------

HEY, DOUG!

SORRY TO HAVE CONFUSED YOU WITH MY SARCASM! I WAS MERELY ATTEMPTING (IN MY OWN PECULIAR WAY) TO CONGRATULATE "CHINESE TEACHER" FOR HAVING ANSWERED YOUR INQUIRY IN A MUCH MORE CANDID MANNER THAN THAT WHICH WE USUALLY SEE ON THIS BOARD EMANATING FROM OUR CHINESE FRIENDS, TO WIT:
====================================

I don't think schools in China will pay upfront for your air ticket. Some goes to the extend of cheating by not even wanting to pay our foreign friends their due air fare even after when they have completed their contract. The best for you is to save and take a risk coming to China. Do check around and ask, do your homework before taking the slow and dangerous boat to China. You never know, you may find a good employer or schools who will take good care of you during your stay or you may get one that will send you to hell 2 weeks after your arrival. Whatever it is, good or bad, time will tell and the choice is yours.
====================================
AS THE MAN SAYS, SCHOOLS IN CHINA WILL NOT USUALLY PAY UP FRONT FOR AIR FARE. REASON(S): IN THE PAST, THERE WERE FAR TOO MANY IMPORTED ESL INSTRUCTORS WHO, IN HAVING DECIDED THAT CHINA WASN'T THEIR CUP OF TEA, FLEW THE COOP WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A ONE-HOUR NOTICE! ALSO, MORE RECENTLY, WE HAVE WITNESSED THE ONSLAUGHT OF "THE INCOMPETENT IMPORT" -- SOME WITHOUT EVEN A HIGH SCHOOL DEGREE! TO ADMIT SUCH FAKERS TO CHINA IS, IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, THE FAULT OF THOSE HIRING AGENTS WHO FALSELY REPRESENT THE VARIOUS ACADEMIC SOURCES ACROSS THE PRC BY NOT SO MUCH AS CONDUCTING A CHECK OF THE CREDENTIALS OF ANYONE BEFORE SO FREELY OFFERING CONTRACTS! RESULT: CHINA WINDS UP WITH THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY FROM THE WEST, NOT TO MENTION THE LIMITATIONS SO UNFAIRLY PLACED UPON THOSE OF US WHO ARE QUALIFIED AND WHOSE INTENTIONS ARE ENTIRELY HONORABLE. ASSUMING YOU HAVE BEEN HIRED AND HAVE PAID YOUR OWN WAY OVER (ON THAT "SLOW AND DANGEROUS BOAT"), REALIZE THAT, FOR THE FIRST (AT LEAST) FEW MONTHS, YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE BEEN PLACED ON PROBATION BY YOUR EMPLOYER. IF, INDEED, THEY DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR STYLE AND YOU HAVE NO MONEY TO SEE YOUR WAY THROUGH FOR A WHILE WHILE SEEKING OTHER EMPLOYMENT, WELL...I'D RATHER NOT GO INTO THAT PARTICULAR NIGHTMARE.

BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL QUESTION: I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY CHINESE EMPLOYMENT SOURCE THAT WOULD FRONT A TEACHER'S AIR FARE, BUT I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING (TALK TO MY FIRST WIFE ABOUT THAT ONE, PAL!). KEEP YOUR EYES FOCUSED ON THE VARIOUS BOARD ADS ... YOU NEVER KNOW. BUT AS FOR VENTURING ACROSS THE WIDE PACIFIC WITH NO MOOLAH -- NO WAY, JOS! GOOD LUCK, MAN!

PEACE,
ELLIS

Doug --

Most schools (private after-school programs) in South Korea will pay for your airflight over, provided you agree to a one-year contract and appear to be trustworthy. The usual pay (4-year degree required) is around $1,700 per month plus housing, medical and dental insurance (half-paid by school) for teaching 30 hours per week. Most schools also pay $1,700 at the end of the year contract. There are several thousand jobs each year, many recruiters and a dozen or more new openings advertised on some websites each day. Good luck.

Williams

> HEY THERE
> DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY SCHOOLS THAT OFFER TO PAY YOUR FLIGHT OVER. I
> KNOW ITS PROBABLY RARE BUT I SEEM TO FIND SCHOOLS THAT WILL PAY BUT
> THEY REIMBURSE YOU ONCE YOU ARRIVE. I AM JUST A POOR COUNTRY BOY AND
> DONT HAVE ENOUGH TO SAVE UP A COUPLE THOUSAND TO FLY AND PROBABLY
> WONT BE ABLE TO FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. ANYONE THAT CAN HELP OUT AND
> HAVE ANY SCHOOL NAMES OR IDES WOULD BE AWSOME. THANX A LOT AND
> APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE YOU CAN PROVIDE.
> DOUG

> HEY THERE
> DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY SCHOOLS THAT OFFER TO PAY YOUR FLIGHT OVER. I
> KNOW ITS PROBABLY RARE BUT I SEEM TO FIND SCHOOLS THAT WILL PAY BUT
> THEY REIMBURSE YOU ONCE YOU ARRIVE. I AM JUST A POOR COUNTRY BOY AND
> DONT HAVE ENOUGH TO SAVE UP A COUPLE THOUSAND TO FLY AND PROBABLY
> WONT BE ABLE TO FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. ANYONE THAT CAN HELP OUT AND
> HAVE ANY SCHOOL NAMES OR IDES WOULD BE AWSOME. THANX A LOT AND
> APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE YOU CAN PROVIDE.
> DOUG

I don't think schools in China will pay upfront for your air ticket. Some goes to the extend of cheating , by not even wanting to pay our foreign friends their due air fare even after when they have completed their contract.

The best for you is to save and take a risk coming to China. Do check around and ask, do your homework before taking the slow and dangerous boat to China. You never know, you may find a good employer or schools who will take good care of you during your stay or you may get one that will send you to hell 2 weeks after your arrival. Whatever it is, good or bad, time will tell and the choice is yours.

Good Luck.