The reason for my uncorking was the original posters flailing at Australians and Americans
with eyes closed and the pestilence of ignorance spraying.

"Uncorking... spraying": sweet. "Flailing... eyes closed": nice. But can their pestilence be uncorked and sprayed while flailing with eyes closed if it's you that become uncorked? Mixing metaphors with multiple agents in the same sentence is usually a problem.