Im often using these ESL discussion forums to voice some complaint about a job or some other work situation in China.

Recently on another ESL website, someone posed the question: What is the strangest question you have been asked by a student in China?

This was my reply:

While I cannot decide about a direct question, let me tell you about two very curious and/or entertaining text messages I've received from students and friends (both within a few weeks of each other) on my mobile phone.

The first one came maybe two days after I had reluctantly followed the textbook and gave the students a brief introduction to Easter (oy vey!). It was one of dozens of Western and Chinese holidays (festivals) to be discussed. The course book only mentioned such icons as the Easter Bunny, and Easter eggs. Of course, the religious aspect of the holiday was omitted from the two paragraph outline. I chose to adhere to this version of the story of Easter. I suppose in my haste (after all, there were so many holidays to cover), I failed to clarify a few things, hence, I receive the following text message on my cell phone (from a friendly and macho 40-y.o. male): How to cook jelly beans? Please tell me!

The other one came while I was traveling on a very crowded bus (Spring Festival, you know) from Jiangsu to northern Shandong -- a 12+ hour journey on a rickety vehicle comprised completely of bunk beds for people HALF my size. I had asked a wonderful young Chinese colleague to stay in my apartment during my absence. After about eleven blurry-eyed hours on the bus careening in the snow, my cell phone announces: A man named God called you.

Huh?!?!? Im feeling equal parts perplexed, amused, and freaked. . . I begin to think, just my luck, God called me, and Im the bus to Shandong!

Later Im told; He will call back.

Oh, good!

It turned out (as I learned a few mystified days later) that the caller in question was a family friend, whose last name is Godfrey. He had called because he was in Taiwan on business. My friend got so nervous while taking the message, that his advanced listening skills failed him at a very crucial moment.

These are sterling examples of why life in China is never dull!