You should never hope Chinese treat you the same as they would another Chinese because that means you are as valuable as your brand name items, address and will live in a 'shame culture' where 'honor' is found by degrading another around you (fight to the bottom).

But I get what you want to say. The problem is that people like Jia here are not able to understand what 'welcoming' or 'polite' or what actually is the proper way to treat fellow human beings.

Jia only knows this very common Chinese understanding: China is #1. Chinese are the most welcoming and friendly to foreigners. Western Countries hurt and kill foreigners, Black people and killed Chinese people.

"Therefore"....

He can conclude that you, asking to be treated better is arrogant! Are you a King?! He already knows you are treated better than anyone else on Earth yet you ask for MORE!? You already get the best respect, welcome and friendliness but you COMPLAIN MORE!?

Jia can't see outside that. He cannot compute any other way of seeing your requests. He simply can't understand what you are complaining about because he just knows you have nothing to complain about. That actually you ought to be GRATEFUL you are treated better than Westerners would treat you back at home!

I really began to understand this Chinese mentality when I tried to tell Chinese managers how to treat the foreign teachers they were hiring (or firing, or losing).

In fact, they could not 'compute' that they were being rude, unwelcoming, unhospitable!

It was a 'contradiction' because they already KNEW Chinese are 'very welcoming and friendly' therefore it was impossible to say otherwise. In fact, I must be just insulting them.

Okay, then why don't they just leave China?! (the standard Chinese answer to any criticism).

To be clear: MANY Chinese are very good and I also believe some things are innocent cultural differences (so nobody is intentionally rude) and to make Jia happy I will even agree some foreigners are asking for too much (or ask for others to accomodate their cultural needs).

But in this case, Jia cannot hear you. Cannot 'process' the information because... he knows without any doubt Chinese are the best so how can you contradict it???

btw a funny real life conversation I had with a school manager who decided they wont supply FTs with nearby apartments but WILL have them come in twice a day (4 hours between classes) and is very upset some have been late for work (which is akin to murdering people when FTs do it) and so something like this:

Me: Ok, so, you know traffic is insane in the city, your location is off the bus routes, the foreigners cannot read the bus system, signs, maps and moreso they don't really understand how things work (holiday time traffic jams, new construction, etc etc).

Chinese manager: Ya, they must be here on time.

Me: Right, okay but you wont locate them nearby and insist on giving them split shifts (twice daily) or 2 different locations each day so how can you help them?

Chinese Manager: Ya, its in the contract. I told you this is the contract they agreed to it.

Me: Sure, but we need to solve the problem so could you arrange a driver for them for example?

Manager: but its not in the contract. they signed the contract so they agreed. so they need to be here on time every time. in the contract.

Me: What if you just send them a PA with good english skills to show them how the bus works, write them the times, show them the routes, explain how they can do it faster, write the school address in Chinese and give them a taxi phone number?

Manager: They can do that if they want but they sign contract! (exhausted im so stupid I can't understand they signed contract FFS!)

Me: Okay, did you know that in America we actually were REQUIRED to take responsibility for the Chinese workers arriving on time at the correct locations. That means we (the supervisors) were held to account. IF they were late - I MYSELF would get a meeting with the boss asking why I knew the CHinese were obviously not going to know our buses/taxis/maps/traffic etc and why I wasn't helping them?

Manager: ya but this is China. This is China so you know they say 'When in Rome'. This China. They sign contract.

The manager genuinely believes she is 'clever' and 'smarter' and would proudly inform the owner she just learned she is saving money and China is the winner because obviously China doesn't have to do the thing American fools agreed to do. So China is better.