Okay, let me move this post over HERE where it'll get plenty of views.

I've been thinking of new ways to motivate my lazy students into doing work at my digs, and I think I've stumbled on to just the thing: a TASER.

Do these things have different settings like those phasers do in Star Trek? If it does have variable settings, I'll have to decide which settings are appropriate for which problems.

Perhaps this would be a good start:

1. If a student is absent from two or more classes then bitches about being "lost" in the class he gets a low-stun shock.

2. If a student is absent from ALL classes in a semester, and then bitches the exam is "too hard", he gets a medium-stun shock for 5 seconds.

3. If a student won't do homework when asked and then bitches the class material, tests, and exams are too tough, he gets a medium stun for 10 seconds.

4. If a student refuses to accept English grammar in his English grammar classes and keeps reverting to his L1 grammar, he gets a medium-heavy stun for 10 seconds.

5. If a student makes the same writing mistake over and over in a class after I've told him "how to do it", he will get a heavy stun for 5 seconds on the 26th attempt.

6. If a student decides that talk about a subject completely unrelated in class, he gets a heavy stun for 5 seconds.

7. If a student acts up in class, he will get a low stun shock for 5 seconds the first time, a medium stun shock for 5 seconds for the second-fifth offenses, and a heavy stun setting for 5 seconds for six offense.

8. If a student assaults his teacher, he will get a heavy coma stun for 5 seconds.