Dancing monkeys/deechers belong in scummy training centres, children's entertainers belong in
kindergartens, and those of us with the required credentials that the government now
want, wouldn't be seen dead in either.

Teaching at any level, in any institution is a relatively easy job. It's not really 'working' and it doesn't require any special intellect or skills. Some are better than others but you shouldn't worry about where you'd want to be seen teaching. No matter where you are seen teaching you are doing something easy and well.. not a real job. Those who can't 'do' - teach.