'Hello Darlin', how do you like your eggs in the mornin'?' wink wink....

'Unfertilised. Now p*ss off!'

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I went into a shop and said, "Packet of condoms please"

The shop assistant smiled at me and said coyly, "Would you be requiring small, medium or large, big-boy?"

I paused for a moment, looked her deep in the eyes, smiled, and then slowly said, "L a r g e"

B*tch gave me a packet of 144.

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Why is it that if women are so good at 'multi-tasking', they can't have sex AND a headache at the same time?

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