I buy these lumps of roast beef (this one 27yuan) for the girl. Absolutely no Chinese
seasoning included, tastes like from tesco-on-sea. It has occurred to me that if I pop
such a slice in the pan with some oil and garlic, will I have the makings of egg,
steak,chips and mushroom which would make even SB stay out of very(should be 'really'
turnoi) delicious pizza parlours?

No! This stuff is already cooked. Perfect for sarnies though, (if you can find unsweetened bread). If you have a rice cooker with a steamer basket, get yourself a whole bulb of garlic and slice off the complete base. Pop the bulb into the steamer basket and steam it until the garlic cloves are really soft. They'll just 'pop out' of the paper/skin and you can spread the soft garlic on your bread (instead of butter). Slap on some thinly-sliced beef and some sliced sauteed mushrooms (and an egg if you like), and you have the next best thing!