1. Street food is so expensive, I think I'll cook at home.
2. Chinese women are so selfless, I should marry one asap.
3. I'm British, but I feel I should teach them American English occasionally. (or vice-versa).
4. Travelling on a bus or train and screaming into your mobile phone is so awesome!
5. Snorting like a pig, scraping your throat, then flobbing out a big 'greenie' on the back of a passing cyclist must be such fun....
6. Your kid is pissing on the steps of a restaurant, your great-grandmother has dropped her drawers and is shitting up a tree, I think I'll do that too.
7. I love the attentiveness of supermarket staff. I only glanced at that product for a nano-second, how do they know I might buy it?
8. Going to the bank on my day off is wonderful. The 30-seconds that it takes to do the transaction is certainly worth the 3-hour wait.
9. You are the most wonderful real-estate agent I have ever met. I really love the way you have insisted the owner offers this flat for rent while it's so f*ckin' filthy.
10. My students are totally enthralled during my English classes.
11. My FAO is wonderful.
12. I can't wait to have a baby with you and put him/her through the idyllic Chinese education system.
13. I really want to teach in Beijing. The high salary is well worth putting up with the environment for.
14. Chinese motorists really know how to reverse-park.
15. Car horns should be used more.