You know, I'd seriously consider getting myself ordained just so I could conduct the ceremony. I can picture it now......

'Do you, sweet Fifi, take this m m m ma....misogynist pig, as your lawful wedded husband; to have and to (occasionally) hold, from this day until he's bored with you; in bars or in clubs; for worse or for more worse; in sickness and in sickening; for poorer or skint; in brothels or in massage parlours; for as long as he allows you to live?

Do you, SBPigDog, take sweet Fifi as your lawful wedded wife; to hurt and abuse, from this day until you get bored with her; to coerce her into drunken orgies; to buy her a bar; to sexually enslave her according to Pattaya's 'holy' law?'

I promise I won't make you say 'I do' - you can just say.....'Oh, go on then!', lol