An Esl works at a new school on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The Dean asks the co-teacher about him, and the co-teacher says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."

So the Dean calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good teacher and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"

The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But one of the boys in class drinks every weekend, and then beats on my female students. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure they are all right. They puts her heads on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing them."

The Dean says, "You screw your students?"

The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."