I can empathize. I have been in China for quite sometime and have a two year old with another on the way.

One thing that is certain in China is that teaching English is a dead end job for native speakers. In Chengdu the cost of living has easily doubled in the last five years and wages and salaries have remained stagnant or actually declined during that time. If I was not married I would be in Japan or Taiwan. ESL is still a dead end job in those places as well but at least it pays enough to survive on and there is a lot crap to deal with.

Regarding the ID card, recently the government issued new ID cards and they are no longer accepting the old ones. She should still be able to get her card replaced. Another thing to do is try contacting your embassy and telling them your situation. They can't really do anything, but they will most likely contact the foreign affairs office in her hukou. They in turn will contact the police to find out the situation. This will probably annoy the cops, but hey they should be doing their job anyways.

Once is not going to do it. You need to jam a lot of paper up their arses until they get the message that you aren't going to go away. After you contact the embassy and that most likely will fail, contact your elected representatives back home. They can't do much but they will have somebody put pressure on your state department and that should generate some pressure on your embassy to get some sort of results.

I went through a pretty negative period a while ago. Easy to do when you watch everyone around you moving forward and actually notice your situation going backwards. This is going to sound lame, but try to stay postitive. Your mental attitude has a lot to do with the luck you "create". Once I changed my attitude a bit things became easier, not much easier but a bit, and more opportunities have come my way in the last year than I am able to take.

Good luck.