Your interpretation of the stickers they wear is actually much better than mine, and yours has many more details....Very good post!

For a PhD, they ask their students to write "I am so intelligent and a genius" 4000times on toilette paper which will be their PhD thesis submitted to the illiterate bosses of Hamster English. PhD candidates at Hamster English are also required to take an oral exam which they call "disputation". In this disputation, students are required to whisper like a horse with the bosses responding in grunting like a pig. The secretary then makes a chicken, and the door guardian responds like a cow. The PhD candidate has passed the disputation when he was able to respond in all these animal languages.

That's the difference between Hamsters and (real reputable) Hampson English, the latter of which does not exist yet and may never come.

Now you know why they only teach Chinglish, horse and cow and other animals' languages at Hamster English but no real English!

Hamster English is really the place to study and to work for, so please do not "slander name of this great schoollllll"!...LOL