I am the Imperial Historian of the crappy Hamster English Dynasty in China, and in that capacity I have done a lot of profound research on the past history of crappy Hamster English.

The real story behind that history made me travel to the seaside in the North Eastern part of China. I even traveled along the coast and learned more about the tides - you know, that means the sea coming and going - and how that phenomenon of nature relates to the great history of our great crappy Hamster English Dynasty. I have recorded it in the Historical Court Annals for everyone before and after us to see and read about.

The origins of our great Hamster English Dynasty go back as far as 150 B.C., and everything began with a small building erected near the seaside at the coast in a fishers' village by the name of Hamster English. There was a strange reaction to that by the sea....

The coast is a piece of land encircled by lots of waters you commonly call "sea". And this is where the tides - low and high tide - both come in: When the founders of that Hamster English Dynasty erected their first building at the coast, the sea was very much afraid of them, and so the sea decided to withdraw and went back. And since the sea was really anxious to see this crappy Hamster English Dynasty disappear from what it regarded its very own land, the sea now came back twice a day to look if those people of the crappy Hamster English Dynasty were still there.

Somehow, strangely enough, crappy Hamster English managed to survive for millenia and centuries but the first emperors of crappy Hamster English dynasty in China were eager to expand their empire from the coast to the inner part of China. That is why the moved to places like Beijing.

This had an impact on further Chinese history: It is because of crappy Hamster English why there are low and high tides with the sea coming and going at the Chinese coast. And it was because the sea was afraid of those aliens from Mars planet that the sea went but came back to see whether these aliens are still there.

These days, the sea will come back again to look if they still are there....

Howgh, I have spoken!

By the Imperial Historian, quoted from the "Historical Records of Crappy Hamster English", Vol. III, Chapter 12.