Boaby & Davy, Conjoined Scottish Twins

An on-duty gendarme spots a hire car approaching the Champs Elysees with a rear light out. He beckons the driver to pull over, which he does, and then winds his window down. The Officer has a good look inside the car and notices that the driver and passenger are conjoined twins. Instead of making an issue over the light-out situation, he begins to engage in some friendly chat.

Gendarme: Ah, are you on holiday, my friends?

Davy: Aye, that's right, big yin. We've been coming to your country every September bank holiday
weekend for the last 9 years.

Gendarme: So, I guess you come to France to get away from ze rainy weather you have in Ecosse.

Davy: Naw, it nearly always pishes doon when we come here. Your weather's nae better than oors, in't that right, Boaby?

Boaby: Aye.

Gendarme: Zen I take it you are here to enjoy our delicious French food, very healthy too.

Davy: Naw, yer food's mingin, big man; everything reeks of garlic. We've brought a box full of pieces to avoid eating your shite.

Gendarme: Zen you must be here to drink our famous wines and cognac, surely.

Davy: Naw, yer swally's boggin, we've hid tae bring a kerry oot. In't that right, Boaby?

Boaby: Aye.

Gendarme: (by now ever so slightly bemused): Well, in that case you must
be here to see the Parisienne madamoiselles, ze most beautiful women in
Europe.

Davy: Yer kiddin in't ye? The burds here are dugs, ah widnae touch them
wae a ten-fit pole, big yin.

Gendarme: (by now rather irate): Zen why do you people come to our
country if everysing ees so bad?

Boaby: It's the only chance 'oor Davy' gets tae drive.