I've been here for nine (9) years. I have a Chinese girlfriend. I don't have any other Chinese friends. Oh, yes...over the years, I have shared my email address or mobile phone number with thousands (really!) of Chinese folks. Twice a year, I must clear out my phone and email contact lists, deleting hundreds of people who have never since contacted me. Those that have contacted me usually want free English lessons, or they want me to write/edit their school/business reports, resumes, email messages and so on. Sometimes, I get messages from folks asking me what an English word or phrase means because they are too lazy/cheap/stupid to buy and learn how to use a dictionary. Admittedly, I am picky about who I call "friend". I will not have racists for "friends", and this eliminates 99% of the Chinese folks I meet. Another problem I have relates to Chinese society, generally. I am allergic to ETS, so I cannot go to Chinese restaurants, bars or clubs; I cannot even go to the gym because management allows guests to smoke indoors (usually in the locker room). Even going to the park on a sunny day is a problem; if a smoker sits upwind of my position, I must pack up my things and move along, or I will get sick. Having someone as a "friend" typically involves spending "face" time with them, sharing activities and interests, building a common history together. However, being unable to participate in Chinese society because of smokers puts a serious crimp on this.

My advice: Give up. Cultivate your expat contacts, here and abroad, instead. Chinese folks just aren't worth your trouble. They will use and abuse you, and ignore you unless you have money or something else to give them. Chinese strangers (and even those who know you) will never help you if you cannot find something you need, if you are lost, or if you have problems. If this doesn't alleviate your situation, my only other suggestion is to listen to Chinese folks when they tell you to, "Go back to your own country."