If it's wrong in the West it's still wrong. Don't think that because Chinese people smoke in restaurants and cut in line that it's not wrong for you to do it, for example. You know better, and you know the reasons why. And you also know why teachers are not supposed to try to sleep with students, theirs or someone else's. "Love" or "she wanted to" is no excuse in the West. One would look like a complete idiot playing that card.

Hi all. I have a bit of a dilemma to discuss. I am very attracted to a Chinese student at my university. She is 21 and is pretty and sexy. She is not my student, but the student of another FT at my university. I have been at this uni for one year.

I am 44, I know this might sound wrong, but I am smitten with this girl. We get along so well, and we enjoy dancing and singing so much. When I kiss and cuddle with her at KTV I feel alive, I can't get this sensational feeling from any West woman I have ever been with, including my ex-wife.

Everything you said is obvious, and also shows you do not belong at the university. You are not there to take 21 year old students to KTV and cuddle with them or kiss them. How would you like it if your 21 year old daughter we going out with a 44 year old Chinese teacher who was totally turned on by her, mostly because she was so much younger than him. Of course you are attracted to a 21 year old girl. It's not because she's Chinese, you noob, it's because she's 21. You act like this is some mystical miracle. No. It's just your hormones. You are "that guy," the older guy perving on the young students. What the hell do you think you are doing? You are there to teach them English, not try to get in their pants. Yes, the students will also go after the teacher. It's happened to me, too, but I made it very clear that I don't date students and word got out and it never became an issue after my first month of teaching. You, on the other hand, want to play the field.

You are not there to pray on students, and anyone who says otherwise is an asshole. Don't lose your Western standards when it comes to students. If you want to try to take advantage of naive young Chinese girls, who are actually more like high-school students than their western counterparts, you would be wise to meet them outside of the university.

"Teachers" who seek to sleep with students are a disgrace and an embarrassment.

Despite what other older male teachers on this forum might say, get your shit back in perspective and remember why you are there. If you are lonely, go meet a Chinese woman outside of the university.

To any blowhard who disagrees with me, I hope your 21 year old daughter hooks up with a foreign teacher in her university (probably one among many as he becomes a serial student banger. Oh, but he's not even here teacher, he just scoped her out while generally hitting on students.). Your role is to educate students, not fuck with their lives and their reputations just because it feels so good to be with such a young girl and makes you feel alive and all tingly inside.

I also don't care if some of the Chinese teachers do the same thing. Many also beat their wives. This is a no-brainer. Sadly, however, many foreign teachers will do what your are contemplating, find excuses, find camaraderie from other pathetic middle-aged men who pray on students, and behave like complete assholes overseas.

You can meet a real woman who is not entrusted to your care as a teacher (I don't care if she's another teacher's student) outside of the university if you think you are God's gift to Chinese women. If you can't meet one outside the university, then you are not much of a stud then, are you? You are just taking advantage of a situation where you have some power, and you have been implicitly trusted to not abuse it.

leave the little freshmen girls alone. Go outside and find yourself a real girlfriend.