As someone who ……

Thanks for sharing your insight. I’m not about to claim your personal experience of working at 1 university in China is wrong because it is of course your experience but please don’t make blanket statements like “nobody I’ve ever met” thinks …….. and then expect this to be taken to prove a point. I’ve worked for longer in China and at more institutions than yourself and my experience of the situation and view on it is different and i'd be happy to share actual experiences as opposed to the conjecture of others to back that up.

But you have no evidence for your assertion

Nor do you for many of the statements that you made in your post. Let’s face it, we are both just speculating about the relationship and the intentions of both parties. However, it is a fact that the OP is not this girl’s teacher. Therefore he can't be accused of somehow using that position to coerce her into doing something she might not wish to do. There is the danger that immoral behavior such as cheating, intimidating, lying, etc. exist within any relationship between people of any nationality and age but that’s the risk you take when entering into one. Should an individual act in these ways then they can be deemed to have been immoral but the situation as it stands (two people liking each other and express themselves accordingly) is not immoral. This was the point I was making with the Kraus quote (I wasn’t suggesting you were Christian!). It seems ridiculous to think of yourself (or another individual) of having performed an immoral act before you’ve actually done it. You’re right, maybe this is the first in a long line of students who will be bonked and then disregarded despite their feelings or it could be a genuine attempt at a relationship, either way you can’t judge a person as being immoral until they've actually performed that immoral act. In my opinion when two humans like each other and express that feeling physically there is no moral question to be answered. In fact, existence of a reciprocal feeling between two individuals seems to fit nicely with the ‘golden rule’ you stated in your previous post (do onto others …..).

Towards the end of your argument you seem to write much more about your own personal preference for finding a girlfriend than making any statement about morality. If you don’t deem the women at universities to be ‘real’, old enough or attractive enough then that’s up to you but it is not immoral for an individual to disagree with your preferences. I myself am married to a Chinese women (not a student you’ll be pleased to hear) but someone who is 3 years younger than me, undoubtedly not as worldly as me and a former colleague of mine. Do you think I acted immorally in this situation? Is she not a ‘real’ woman or is our marriage or our son any less ‘real’ because I didn’t go outside college grounds to find her? You tell me. You seem to have a pretty good view from that horse you rode in on!

It seems to me that whether a situation is morally right or wrong depends on one’s own values or the values to which you judge a situation against. For me it is not immoral for 2 adults (you can attack my semantics but they are both legally adults and what is the law if it doesn't in some way represent a society's moral values?) to like each other (or for that matter lust after one another) and to act upon and express those feelings. I have no qualms about you having a different moral view from me but again remember your own ‘golden rule’ and realize that the door swings both ways. One day you might find someone disagrees with an aspect of your life on moral grounds that you don’t share.