I see we need a re-cap of the main points, which remain undisputed, as to why one should never have sex with students (despite what some older foreign “teachers” may say). If you missed it, this argument revolves around the question of, “Should a middle-aged foreign male teacher date a young university female student.”

1. It is against the “code of conduct” of the schools in question.

2. One would very likely lose one’s job for doing it in the West.

3. It is against the law in many places, and can lead to imprisonment even if the student is over 21 years old.

4. If is the sign of a very bad teacher to fraternize with students at a level where intimate relationships are possible to evolve. A teacher should be a professional, and be friendly, but not be the student’s friends. He certainly should not be their self-appointed sex instructors.

5. The two parties are not equal. One is older, a teacher, AND a foreigner.

6. The argument that anyone over 21 is automatically an adult, and thus it is impossible for a teacher to take advantage of a student over 21, is complete nonsense. This is not the same question as “the age of consent,” but rather about relations between people in an institutional setting where one has decidedly much greater power and influence than does the other.

7. It is probably psychologically and socially damaging to the student, in both the short and long term. Particularly with a greater age difference. Dating the older foreign male will likely estrange the student from her own peers and her family if they are aware of it. Further, it may cause her to have issues of disgust, revulsion, and self-loathing that she will carry for the rest of her life (sorry if that if offensive, but some of you may need a long hard look in the mirror). She may also be deprived of the opportunity to find MUCH more suitable partners among her own peers.

8. So far nobody who endorses having sex with students has been willing to say that he wouldn’t mind if he had a 21 year old daughter in university, and a middle-aged visiting foreign man became her “boyfriend”. This is probably because such men as would take advantage of students don’t think about what it would be like if the shoe were on the other foot. They only think about themselves.

9. While some may brag about dating students, it’s hardly the sign of a stud, unless, of course, your role model for sexual potency is Woody Allen.

10. You are not doing the students any favors by having sex with them. They can have sex without you, and you are nothing special at best. China is aware of sex. They can access all kinds of porn online, there are sex shops and brothels everywhere. There’s no great privilege in knowing a sub-standard teacher without a moral backbone. To the contrary, you are probably doing great harm to their reputation and future prospects, even if their English improves by proximity to you. If you really cared you could tutor them while keeping your hands off of them.

11. It is nothing to be proud of that one finds ones students sexually alluring. This is not a sign that you are still sexually potent (whatever troubles you might have with stamina or finishing). Everyone can see that young women are sexually alluring, including women. A teacher is supposed to be emotionally mature enough, and otherwise socially developed enough, with enough scope and experience, to not lust after students. If one is too week to perform the role of teacher without lusting after students, that one should resign from ones post before doing more damage. This is the same as if you can’t keep from pocketing money when you see it, you can’t be a cashier.

12. It is not love. You have nothing in common with that girl 20-30 years younger than you, who is also a new student in university. It’s lust/infatuation.

13. Finally, many male teachers (including myself) have had a number of opportunities we could have taken advantage of to have intimate relations with students. Don’t flatter yourself. Any ugly-ass dork can get action in the developing world. But, the more mature teachers resisted temptation (if they were tempted at all by students half their age), acted as professional teachers, and found sexual fulfillment elsewhere in appropriate places. There are the real men (really, Woody Allen isn’t help up as a sex god in the West, the way you guys try to make yourselves out to be following in his footsteps, except you don’t have talent)

[Note that I've seen "London Girl" in here absolutely shredding the local blow hards, out shining them not only with better arguments, but better English. They can only regurgitate things like "that's rubbish" or "my crocodiles are hungry" or "a 21 year old is an adult" or other mindless drivel. It's good to see a few other posters who have all of their wits about them, and aren't a disgrace to the ESL teaching profession. Even better to see one kicking ass.]